I didn’t have a lot of Strawberry Shortcake toys when I was a child, favouring Barbies and My Little Ponies above all else, but I always loved Miss Shortcake herself. And what’s there not to love? She smells great, wears an adorably dorky hat and counts a pink and white spotted kitty as her best friend. That’s girl toy pay dirt right there!
It’s probably wise to not get me started on the recent thinnification of Strawberry Shortcake, however. Actually, call it a de-dorkening. It’s like the focus groups for today’s modern children just flat out rejected Strawberry’s old look – sturdy, redheaded fruit geek in a too-frouffy embroidered dress her mom probably picked out for her – in favour of replacing it with Strawberry Shortcake, junior fashionista. I mean, have you seen what she looks like nowadays? Her hair is hot pink and sleek under an adorable strawberry baseball cap. She’s gained two and a half feet in height and lost at least half her body weight. Her babydoll dress stops about an inch down from her butt. Even her cat was put on a diet! Tell me, what kind of world do we live in where an animated cat can’t even have a few pounds on its strawberry-scented frame?! A world gone mad, that’s what!!!
See, I told you this was a path we shouldn’t have started down! I also have a lot of thoughts on the sexification of My Little Ponies, but that’s a dismaying argument for another day (and another post.)