When I’m not flooding my nails with noxious chemicals, one of my favourite things to with my spare time is to play the Sims. In the interest of full disclosure, I should point out that the Sims and I have a most contentious relationship. I’ll build and design and lord over my simu-peeps every evening as I watch TV for days or weeks on end, and then suddenly I’ll ignore it for six months straight. There is no real rhyme or reason (although the Sims’ INSANE system requirements combined with my computer’s often taxed-to-the-max capabilities frequently sends me running for the hills; it’s just too discouraging to build, say, an entire mini-amusement park, only to have it completely wiped out during a game crash.)
But one of the hallmarks of a Simmer is that we never know when to say die, which is why we load up our woefully inadequate computers with enough software to launch a rocket into space, which is how I came to be in possession of the Sims 3 Pets expansion pack long after I had sworn off all Simming for good. Oh right, another thing about Simmers? We’re unrepentant liars when it comes to bowing out of our favourite game – somehow, despite all the glitches and screw-ups, it ALWAYS finds a way to lure us back in. It’s a lot like crack that way.
And so the Sims lured me back in with the promise of simu-cats and pixel-pups and, for the first time in Sim history, horses! But because my Sims are never normal – they’re nearly always ultra high achieving supernatural types – my girl couldn’t possibly have a normal horse, and so she adopted herself a unicorn. Thunder the Unicorn, as she’s called, did not start out life as a rainbow-hued quadruped. When my fairy Sim, Molly, found her, she was a dusty kind of black colour. In other words, the very antithesis of a unicorn. But a hop, skip and an adoption away, the secrets of unicorn design were unlocked and Thunder came into her own. I think she looks a bit like an overgrown My Little Pony, but way cooler because she can – and will – kick people.
Here I took Simspiration from Thunder’s fetching makeover and did a manicure in her completely-made-up honour. Now if only we could teach my Sim – usually a smart girl, but jeez! – which end of the unicorn is which and we’ll be all set!