Colette Tatou, plum-haired heroine of Disney-Pixar’s Ratatouille, is not a woman to be trifled with. As the only female in Gusteau’s kitchen – and very nearly the entire film, but for the gun-happy old lady at the beginning – Colette stands against the inequalities of the industry, whether it’s objecting to Chef Skinner’s ego-driven power trips or vouching for “talented”-yet-hapless Linguini. Plus she’s super handy with a blade, and you just don’t want to mess with a woman who can debone a chicken in 32.6 seconds flat.
Here I tried to capture Colette’s black and white checked chef togs, as well as her unnaturally hued hair (FINALLY a great, super appropriate use for a magnetic polish, which I used to create those little light-reflecting waves.) And over on my thumb is, as the French themselves would say, the piece de resistance, a lacquered loaf of bread fit for crackling. Mmmm, animated bread (actually, all of the food in Ratatouille looks amazing, particularly the scallops seared in some sort of cream sauce…whenever I watch Ratatouille, I always make sure I’m either eating something yummy or have access to something yummy, because it’s only a matter of time before I’m sprinting out to the kitchen to make, oh, I don’t know, pommes anna or a “simple” boeuf bourguignon.)
It’s really easy: Just take the ugliest colour in your bag of polished beauty tricks – I can practically guarantee it’s the aforementioned pea green, or maybe even an orangey rust or dog poo brown – and cover it with one and a half coats of a fun neon glitter topper seemingly designed expressly to beautify such objectionable nail polish colours. I mean, I don’t wish to pick on this guy, Essence’s L.O.L. (oh, I’m LOL-ing, all right) but he’s ever so ugly. It’s a particularly unflattering shade against my pale, WASPy hide, although I can’t imagine a skin tone in this world it *would* flatter. And yet, when it’s paired with a funfetti-ish glitter like this one, Polish Me Silly’s Over the Rainbow, it takes on a grassy, springy look, like Easter goodies nestled in a basket of fake plastic grass, as opposed to the paint on the outside of the Griswold family station wagon in the first Vacation movie, a unique shade that went by the name “Electric Pea” (or is it “Electric Pee”? No matter, both apply.) It also helps if you throw in an accent nail in a colour that doesn’t remind you of medical waste, here Nails Inc.’s perfect robin’s egg blue, Royal Botanical Gardens. See, not all is lost for the noble pea. 😉
Oh, we’re off to see the wizard! Here I attempted to capture the Emerald City of The Wizard of Oz in tiny, glittery form for week 3 of the May N.A.I.L. Challenge for the theme of emerald, which I clearly took quite literally. I love that I was able to make great use of a favourite glittery green polish, KB Shimmer’s Get Clover It, to add a touch of sparkle to the buildings. I think the little gold and turquoise glitters sort of look like lights burning in the windows of Emerald Towers.
It’s a tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, Beauty and the tea…pot. Or, more accurately, the Beast and his teapot, grandmotherly housekeeper turned chinaware, Mrs. Potts.
I spend a not inconsiderable amount of time on this blog extolling the virtues of indie nail polishes. With few exceptions, indies are well produced, made from quality materials and, best of all, they offer polish mavens a wealth of unique colour combos and finishes in a sea of commercial samey. On the downside, though, their prices tend to be on the higher end of the financial scale and you can’t just pop by the store to pick up a bottle or two; unless you’re very lucky and/or possibly making your own, you’re going to have to wait for it to be delivered directly to your polished paws.
But every now and then it’s nice to think globally, polish locally and highlight a really beautiful polish readily available at any number of the nation-wide stores you frequent as you go about your daily life, like, say, the grocery store or the pharmacy. Which is where I found this lovely little gem, Sally Hansen’s Xtreme Wear in Blue Boom, a shimmery, midnight blue jelly shot through with silver holographic glitter and a smattering of silver holo bars. That it’s a jelly came as a pleasant surprise (love dem jellies), as is the addition of the silver bar and fine holo glitters. The overall effect is like tiny bits of bioluminescence bobbing along the ocean swells, or, going the opposite direction, a cosmos’ worth of stars twinkling in the midnight blue sky. Oooorrrrr maybe I’ve just been bending too close to my nails again in an inadequately ventilated room, leading to romantic and somewhat clunky comparisons between the majesty of the ocean and .40 fluid ounces of nail paint. Yup, that could be it!
Note: Blue Boom both sparkles and shines, and when you add a high gloss top coat like Seche Vite, you’ve created five tiny mirrors that reflect everything – including your balcony railing! – in perfect lacquered detail. So if you think you’re seeing bunching at the edge of my nails (I certainly do when I look at the first two photos in passing), it’s really the freakishly accurate reflection of the edge of my balcony.
One of the things I love about the rash of neon glitter toppers I recently purchased from Polish Me Silly is neon or no, they’re not tremendously in-your-face. Come summertime, most of the polish makers, commercial, indie or otherwise, tend to frontload their seasonal offerings with tons of samey, ultra bright neons. And while there’s a place in every polish lover’s stash for a few eye-searingly bright picks, there’s really only so many applications for tennis ball yellow nail polish. So when I see something different, like this glitter topper, Polish Me Silly’s Trouble Maker, I jump all over it. Loaded with a rainbow’s worth of tiny and even tinier hex and bar glitter studded with matte black squares and hexes, Trouble Maker is incongruously subtle, particularly when paired with a sweet pastel base like the one I chose here, Essence’s Hello Marshmallow! The glitter really pops against paler pastel shades and still screams summer funnin’, albeit delicately, in its indoor voice. 😉
Some nail mail arrived today in the form of a very promising looking bundle of neon glitter toppers and thermal polishes from Polish Me Silly. Amongst all the bright was this fun pick, Minty Madness, a mint green-to-white thermal colour changer dotted with matte neon glitter. Minty Madness reminds me a lot of another Polish Me Silly pick, I Lost My Marbles, in that they both look a bit like bubblegum ice cream (or in this case, pistachio-bubblegum, which sounds horrendous. It also reminds me of a fantastic visual gag from The Simpsons where Homer strides into his kitchen and declares to Lisa, who is lamenting her lack of power as an eight-year-old girl, that as part of the coveted 18 to 49 white male demographic, everyone listens to his ideas, upon which he promptly pulls a can out of the cupboard bearing a label for “Nuts and Gum, Together at Last!” and starts chowing down. Slays me every time.)
But back to the nail polish! Here I’ve shown Minty Madness in its cool, mint green state and then 10 or so minutes later in its warm, eggshell white state. As always with thermal polishes, I have no doubt that the natural gradient-like effect they tend to produce would be much more prominent on nails longer than mine, but I like the either/or effect just as well – changing things up is but a hand-wash away.