Abstract (Nail) Art

Abstract HandI have NO idea what’s going on here! Is that an animal print? Or maybe amoebas? Or the pattern on a tufted ottoman I saw last week? More importantly, do I care? Not really, actually, because I think I’m sort of in love, even if I don’t quite know what I’m in love with. Allover patterns are a favourite, and it’s refreshing to see the crisp colour combination of red, white and blue in a non-patriotic application. Plus I got to use a polish that I really did purchase accidentally (I thought I had clicked on its page neighbour) and now love unconditionally, Contrary Polish’s shimmery red jelly, Beach Blanket. Out in the sun it does the typical juicy, squishy jelly thing, but in lower lighting its purple shimmer adds a gorgeous, but subtle, hit of spotted visual interest that elevates Beach Blanket from an unfortunate mis-click to an absolute must-have.Beach Blanket Bottle

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Blame Canada!

Dream On Bottle 1For your inability to get this stunning lacquer, Enchanted Polish’s holographic Dream On, anywhere but Canada, as it’s a Nail Polish Canada exclusive. I was initially sort of on the fence about this purchase, which – confession time – I mostly made because it’s a limited edition, exclusive polish. Which is really sort of lame, for all the obvious reasons, but also because I’ve already got a purple holo – an Enchanted purple holo, no less! – in my stash and didn’t really see the need for a second. But me of little faith, I really need to stop doubting Enchanted’s flawless products (I suppose one flaw might be their higher-than-average price point, but for rock solid quality in a polish this gorgeous, I’m okay with that) because they are truly flawless, and Dream On is no exception.

Okay, so in this particular instance I might be a bit confused by the name and colour of this polish – Dream On, and a heathered, dusty purple – as neither exactly screams “Canada!” to me. Unless it’s “Dream On, ya hoser, if you thought this polish was going to be called Beaver Brown or Timmy’s Red. Don’t stereotype, eh?” Which is always a lesson worth reinforcing, even if you’re only talking about nail polish.

Ding dang, y’all:Dream On Collage

And not too shabby in the shade either:Dream On Fingers

Bejeweled

Toastess CollageThe last time I used this glitter polish, KB Shimmer’s Toast-ess With the Mostest, I paired it with an ultra pale pink in a just-the-tips-of-my-nails gradient. This time I’m going for a top-down approach that sees Toast-ess teamed up with Dollish Polish’s Pulp Fiction-themed rose shimmer, English Motherf*cker, Do You Speak It? Pushing Toast-ess’s gold, silver and rose-hued glitter – including gigantic, rainbow-throwing holographic circles – up towards my cuticles in a kind of half moon sort of makes it look like my fingernails are sporting little crowns or really bizarrely-placed rings. Plus I just love pairing such a ladylike look with a base polish with “motherf*cker” in its title.Toastess Inside Fingers

Granny’s Chenille Bedspread

FleursShow of hands if your grandmother had one of those furry chenille bedspreads with the little embroidered (or – egads! – plastic) daisies sewn to the top. My grandmother had a ducky yellow one for her single twin bed (she and my grandfather slept in separate bedrooms from about their early 60s on because my grandmother snores like a grizzly bear in hibernation.) I was always sort of fascinated with that bedspread, with an odd and infantile assortment of embroidered daisies and butterflies nestled its pale yellow fuzz. Come to think of it, I believe my grandmother had a matching robe! Ahh, perfect for those days when you’d like nothing more than to be swaddled in 360 degrees of floral duck fuzz.

These nails, my submission for the theme of pastel flowers in a challenge I’m participating in on Instagram, remind me of those (admittedly super soft) chenille bedspreads. I really love this type of close-cropped floral design where the flowers – nothing more than centre dots ringed by short little free-handed lines – look as through they’re knitted together (which is really quite fitting, given how much these nails remind me of textiles!)

Daredevil

Daredevil FingersAre you watching it? You should be watching it. Hell(‘s Kitchen), I should be watching it. Right now! Mr. Finger Candy binge-watched it pretty much the instant Netflix made it available for streaming, and I watched enough here and there to get me interested in settling in for a good old binge of my own. Daredevil’s my kind of superhero – neither super nor a hero, just one righteously pissed off dude on a mission (see also the Punisher, Batman and, to a lesser extent, the Crow – sure, he’s brought back to life through supernatural means, but for one very specific purpose, and the second he goes off script, he suffers. Again. Because the life and death of Eric Draven can’t be anything but endless friggin’ suffering. I mean, have you heard the man’s “music”? Tortured and torturous.)

But to bring it back to Daredevil, the Marvel television show currently airing on Netflix, one of my favourite things about it so far is the show’s opening credits sequence. There’s just some supremely cool graphics work at play, as thick, viscous-looking ropes of dark red fluid stream over top of landmark buildings and locations in the Daredevil Universe, running down off the screen. This show is bloody, so that fluid is most likely actual blood that Daredevil has bludgeoned out of some hapless underworld type, although it could also be rubber, like his super suit. Or it’s what blind lawyer Matt Murdock, Daredevil’s daytime alter ego, sees after losing most of his eyesight as a child in a chemical accident (why is there always some vat of acid just laying around all unattended in the super worlds?) I actually think it might be Daredevil’s sense of ennui come to thick, smothering life – brother’s so beat-down, he makes Batman look like a ray of sunshine in a pink party dress.

These nails, a red-on-red, shiny-on-matte mani, are inspired by Daredevil’s badass credits sequence. Here I topped three coats of Dollish Polish’s You’ve Got Red On You with one coat of Essie’s Matte About You before brushing on the shiny dripping lines with a tiny detail brush dipped in L’Oreal’s dark red Now You See Me. Plus a whole load of aggravating cleanup, because bloody red is just a total jerk to work with, something I think both nail artists and Daredevil can attest to!Daredevil Hand