I was saying to a friend the other day that despite all manner of great things in my life at the moment – home renovations that are progressing nicely and this blog’s upcoming fifth anniversary, to say nothing of the mini Disney World break we’ll be taking in just two days’ time!!! – I have been feeling wildly out of sorts. And while I haven’t been able to pinpoint the exact source of my unease, I think a large part of it stems from the fact that for the first time in very nearly a year, I am doing all of the things I once eschewed in an effort to save my body and soul – spending a lot of discretionary money, not monitoring my diet, neglecting my workouts. I mean, there’s certainly no Caligula-esque bacchanalia going on here, but it does feel quite outside the norm.
Ah, but it’s the great human conundrum to ruminate over, well, everything, so I can still feel quite guilty about all of the above, despite the fact that I’m doing all three of those things (or neglecting to do two, while overindulging in another) precisely because I cut back on our spending and amped up our self-care in the first place – specifically, to have been circumspect enough with our money that we were able to book four Disney trips in one year, including an unexpected interim trip this coming long weekend. And then being in good enough physical health to actually go and comfortably enjoy ourselves (don’t laugh, there was definitely a time not that long ago that I absolutely felt too zaftig for Disney.)
But spending begets spending, and in the past few weeks as we’ve been preparing for our trip, I feel like our spending has gotten a bit out of control, and it’s making me quite twitchy. Of course, “out of control” is an assessment made purely in the mind of the beholder, but if you’ve spent the past year buying virtually nothing but the essentials, purchasing anything that’s not toilet paper or food feels weirdly illicit, and not in a good way. So lots of guilt there. I even have guilt over the two and only wax orders I placed earlier this month, and I’ve been waiting for them since November of last year!
Then I’ve just been having a really tough time maintaining my dieting motivation. Part of that is owing to the many disruptions going on in my life, both fun (Disney!) and not so fun (anything involving concrete filler.) I thrive on structure and consistency, and neither travel nor renovations aid in either of those things. And I’ve been slacking hard on my workouts for no good reason other than being just dog tired from the endless up-and-down that is laying new flooring. I guess I could call those squats?
All that to say I plan on doing better, starting immediately – perhaps even starting with Disney (I have this maybe not so crazy idea to develop a diet and exercise plan around Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom.) But also do better in the sense that I must cut myself some slack and focus on the positives of which I am so proud. Positives like the fact that we have bought and paid for four Disney vacations in one year. Positives like the fact that I have spent just $250 on scented wax this year, as opposed to the significantly higher amount I spent the year previous. Positives like the fact that none of the stuff we’re buying for our trip (rain ponchos, waterproof footwear, basically anything to keep us from drowning in Florida’s swampy humidity) is disposable, and we’ve built some awesome (and awesomely functional) park bags for our vacations going forward. Positives like the fact that I know both Mr. Finger Candy and I have lost weight since our Christmas 2017 trip, and that this motivational blip too shall pass. Onwards and upwards. But maybe not outwards. 😉
Another positive? Continuing on with my low-buy no-buy. So true, I did make those two wax purchases, one a custom order with Sniff My Tarts and another a Melting Duck order containing Haunted. Mansion. wax, but neither one will be showing its face around here before Halloween. And so with nothing new coming in, I’ve continued to diligently melt through the old, whittling my once quite unmanageable stash down to something approaching reasonable. Actually, more than reasonable; I now have so few Mini Melters, creating complimentary scent blends is becoming something of a dicey chore. But not undoable – and here’s some of the better scent blends I’ve come up with as I scrape the bottom of the metaphorical wax bucket.
Blackberry/Blueberry Muffin/Cotton Candy Frosting/Raspberry Sauce
This smells like berry-flavoured candy floss. Very sweet and fruity, with that tart berry kick. And not a bit of my beloved Marshmallow Smoothie to be found. Because I used it all up weeks ago. 😦
Gilligan’s Brew/Royal Sugar Cookie/Waffle Cone
I call this one Coconut Cookie Cone, because it smells like all of the above!
Apple Clove Butter/Lambeau Leap/Vanilla Bean Noel
Getting a jump on the Fall scent blends with this crisp, Sweater Weather-based fragrance. Lambeau Leap is a blend of three Bath and Body Works scents, Sweater Weather, a juniper berry scent, Cider Lane, a spicy apple cider blend, and Vanilla Bean Noel, a caramel cookie and musk scent, although I mainly get that bracingly strong Sweater Weather note. So I amped up the two “missing” scents with this Mini Melter blend of Lambeau Leap, Apple Clove Butter, a warm, slightly spicy apple scent, and Vanilla Bean Noel. Ahh, much better.
Raspberry Sauce/Vanilla Bean Noel/Waffle Cone
And all will be right in the world so long as I have my beloved Raspberry Sauce. I think I have maybe six or seven little pieces left, and when that’s done, there will be another order placed immediately. And I won’t feel the least bit guilty about THAT one. 😉 This scrumptious blend smells like raspberry cream ice cream in a toasted vanilla waffle cone. Yuh-um!
2 thoughts on “And Now Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Programming”
Hi, I thought for a moment this was going to be a tv related post w/the title and thought we were synching again…I’m sorry bout your off-kilter state, I think there’s a cloud of dissatisfaction hanging in the air. You guys have done so very well with the reigning in of it all, you deserve to reap those rewards, but I get the fixation on the guilt. It’s easier to focus on the perceived failures (not that SMT and Melting Duck haulage ever could be) than the progress or simply maintaining. I swear I might start setting lower expectations so I get more satisfaction, I told another beginning blogger this the other day, progress can be measured inch by inch (or floorboard by floorboard for you) it doesn’t have to be in feet, miles or days.
Also, the use of Caligula-esque bacchanalia with mini-melter recipes, I swear, you make me laugh all the dang time!
Now then, I’m excited I have all the ingredients for the Lambeu Leap recipe, thanks to you, woohoo! And the candy/fruity sounds delish. I don’t know what’s got into me, but I’m craving fruity scents lately. My husband created a yummy mango, pink sugar, mallow smoothie mini combo the other day, but as you said, mallow smoothie makes anything doable.
Looking forward to your Disney deets! Have a great time:)
P.S. I tried to reply twice and received errors, so apologies if it repeats!
No joke, I really do think lowered expectations might be the key. Back when I wasn’t paying a bit of attention to the details of cutting back and just focusing on the fact that I felt better and more in control of my life, I was happier. Now that I’m fixating on every little thing, there’s been a noticeable depreciation in contentment levels. 😦 And that’s WITH a recent trip to Disney in the mix! Anyhow, wise, sage advice to your blogging buddy, because harping away on the perceived failures is no way to motivate.
Looking forward to sharing my Disney fun, but geez, having a hard time returning to earth. Still in vacation mode, and also just so utterly exhausted – the weather was obscenely hot and humid, and it took the stuffing out of these two Canadian pansies (seriously, as in the flower – we just wilt in the heat and guzzle gallons of water.)