Clueless About Plaid

I did this manicure for the prompt of Back to School in a nail art challenge I’m following along with over on Instagram.  Come by and see me sometime – park_or_perish is my handle.

Having dabbled in Cher Horowitz’s fashion sensibilities for much of the mid-90s, particularly on the first day of grade 13 – come on, all those little velveteen dresses and stacked Steve Madden loafers were AWESOME! – Back to School to me always means Back to Clueless, a place – or is it a state of mind? – I’m never actually particularly far from anyways.  And what’s better than Cher’s yellow plaid outfit she chooses – or is it her computer that chooses? – to make her big entrance at school?  Ooh, Snickers. 😉

Of Spikes and Socks

So here’s a great example of a manicure that wound up in a very different place than it began.  Initially, I was going to cover that candy sweet pink gradient with a dainty rose print, something very English garden.  Then I got out my black and white polishes and my dotting tool, and next thing you know, I’ve got the colour and design of a pair of knee high socks I owned in high school (in grade 13 when I was living somewhere near the fashion junction of Clueless and your local patchouli-scented skate shop.  Wow, I loved those socks.  Funny thing to say about polka dotted hosiery that was actually fairly unflattering, but I did.) 😉  Then I added some silver spike charms up by my cuticles for maximum snagability (no way I’d wear these charms around my precious socks, bitchin’ – oh hey, El! – though they are.)

It’s a Full-On Monet!

Actual conversation I had with myself regarding this manicure at its completion:

“Huh, this is pretty.  Looks a bit dotted and hazy in that Monet sort of way.  *snort* – Maybe a fake Monet sort of way.  Faux Monet.  Ohmihgod, FAUXNET!”  Then I nearly upended the coffee table trying to dash out of the room and write this bit of inspired humour down. 😉

But no, actually, with all respect to Miss Cher Horowitz, I don’t think this manicure is a full-on Monet – contrary to her definition, I think it looks good both up close and at a distance.

As with nearly all good things, this look was achieved in a purely accidental manner.  I was actually going for a smoosh mani here.  That’s a super easy nail art technique where you dab a few polishes onto a bit of crinkled up plastic wrap and then dab it onto your nails.  It gives you this mottled sort of look that apparently, depending on the polishes you use, makes your nails look like mini Impressionist paintings.  I actually did a manicure some weeks ago using this technique, just in much bolder colours.  It was very pop art.

And that’s the great thing about this dead easy nail art technique – all you have to do is switch up the polishes and you have an entirely new look.  I love this very The Artist’s Garden-inspired (okay, okay, accidentally inspired) bit of nail art; it’s a very pretty look to wear into the end of another warm summer week.

Clueless About Dieting

Or would that actually be Clueless ON Dieting?  Because this manicure represents Cher Horowitz’s confession to her best friend Dionne that stress has her indulging in a very heifer-like diet (as if!) of “two bowls of Special K, three pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, five Peanut Butter M&Ms and, like, three pieces of licorice.”  Just missing the licorice, but then again, you can’t miss that which you don’t like in the first place, and I’ve never developed a taste for licorice.  I’m down with the rest of that stuff, though, just maybe not at the same time.  Maybe.  I don’t know, bacon and PB M&M popcorn cereal bars *could* be a thing, right?

The Impression That I Get (31DC2016)

Day 27’s always-daunting theme in the 31 Day Nail Art Challenge was artwork, and so I thought I’d simply whip up these very Impressionistic nails – you know, just dash off my interpretation of one of the Masters hard at work (in this case Monet.)  Nuthin’ to it!

But actually, aside from a bit of a time and a lot of patience in wrangling about 15 different bottles of nail polish, these nails were not that difficult.  Best of all, I think they’re full-on Monets – all right at a distance, but a big old mess up close.  And considering the source on that bit of wisdom (Cher Horowitz of Clueless) I’m feeling quite positive about my first attempt at art forgery. 😉

A Full-On Monet

Bahahahaha! Okay, so I don’t know what happened with this manicure here, my attempt at layers of delicate climbing flowers, but to quote the great Cher Horowitz, it’s a full-on Monet (that means at a distance it looks all right, but up close it’s a big old mess.) Hagsville, as Christian would then snottily sneer. All right, so perhaps not Hagsville – this manicure is still pretty, it’s just a touch messy and a whole lot ill-defined. It happens, particularly when you’re trying to cram a too-complicated design into the day’s final remaining hour of photo-friendly sunlight. In summary, don’t rush things, and, as always, Clueless is awesome.