Choking Hazard

jawbreaker-fingers

While I was looking up photos of jawbreaker candies for this sweet manicure, it struck me just how much of a safety hazard these candies really are.  All of them start out life tooth-breakingly hard, but when you add in the sheer size of some of them – about the size of a child’s fist – I don’t know how they’re not sent off to the same prison as Kinder Eggs for choking hazard crimes.  They’re basically dental work-destroying, candied ball gags.

But cute?  So cute!  And at the end of the day, still candy, so ignore all that prior talk of busted teeth and blocked trachea, huh?  Also a great excuse to use the so, so messy splatter technique for this manicure, which involves blowing nail polish out the end of a straw and onto your nails (always blow, never suck; these nails just look edible!)

Jawbreaker

Jawbreaker

These nails, nothing more involved than Cirque’s Kaleidoscope rainbow glitter topper over OPI’s now-ubiquitous My Vampire is Buff, remind me of speckled candy jawbreakers. It’s a super cool effect for very little effort, particularly when the glitter is doing all the heavy lifting.

On an unrelated/related note, has anyone besides me and the friend I watched it with ever seen the movie Jawbreaker? It’s one of those lost ’90s movies – not a “new classic” like She’s All That or American Pie, but still enjoyable (?) in its own peculiar way. It starred Rose McGowan, Julie Benz (Darla, for all you Buffy and Angel fans), some other girl I can’t remember and a very nasty Judy Greer in what was probably one of her first roles. I haven’t seen it in years because it’s really not that good, but it’s worth a watch if a) you’d like to see someone choke to death on a giant jawbreaker or b) you’re down with a totally random and highly squicky sex scene between Rose McGowan and her then fiancé, Marilyn Manson. It’s just as pervy and gross as you’d expect it to be, to the power of, like, 20.

Oh, but there’s this one scene that has since been copied in about 20 different young adult-oriented movies where the girls of the super bitch clique are strutting down the halls of their high school while the lesser beings they’re forced to matriculate with leap out of the way in fear and awe. It’s an awesome scene, but still maybe not enough to make up for the rest!