Calamity Carol

As in Carol of The Walking Dead.  Although…alluringly alliterative though it may be, is “calamity” really the correct descriptor for Carol Peletier’s very particular brand of post-apocalyptic madness?  Girlfriend’s ice cold, and I kind of love it.  Or I loved it right up until she suddenly – and abruptly, because this is The Walking Dead – began acting completely contrary to her long-established character, running off alone to ruminate on man’s inhumanity to man, when she should have been back in Alexandria terrorizing small, frightened children with her apocalypse cookies and impressively detailed death scenarios.  I totally hate-watch The Walking Dead, so I actually don’t have much of a stake in it one way or another, but I’d like to see Carol get her mojo back next season – every apocalypse needs its rage goddess.

Personal feelings on both the show and the comics aside, I love the idea of The Walking Dead, as evidenced by this TWD-themed polish from Dollish Polish, Look at the Flowers, Lizzie, a mucus-hued favourite.  Straight up, this polish looks like snot – ain’t nothing wrong with that!  Here I topped Look at the Flowers, Lizzie with two sweet flower studs and a couple of badass silver spike strips.  I definitely think Carol – any version, really – would approve.

Look at the Polish, Lizzie

Who knows, maybe if Lizzie had been into nail art instead of murder, zombie playtime and just generally going insane, things might have worked out differently for her.  And am I really making a joke about one of the most devastating moments in The Walking Dead, one that ends with (SPOILER) the execution of a child?  Yes. Yes, I am.  Because I’m apparently just as cold and shut-down as Carol (blasphemy – Carol is an apocalyptic rage goddess, and I’d really like it if she and Daryl would just start making out already.)

The Walking Dead airs on Sunday evenings, and so I thought Monday morning would be a good time to pull out this fun lacquer, Dollish Polish’s Look at the Flowers, Lizzie.  Chase away the Monday morning, post-apocalyptic blues and all that good stuff.  I love this polish, because it works in spite of itself.  I mean, it’s little bits of flesh-hued glitter suspended in a snot green jelly base – attractive!  Except it is – very much so – with a nice, not-too-goopy formulation as well.  The perfect polish for the zombie slayer on the go!

Lizzie’s Been a Bad, Bad Girl

Fans of The Walking Dead will get this splatter effect manicure that draws heavy inspiration from the base polish I used here, Dollish Polish’s icky-gorgeous zombie green glitter, Look at the Flowers, Lizzie. I’m not the biggest fan of the show (my husband is The Walking Deadhead around here, although I casually watch just so I can stay up to date on my pop culture education) but even I know those five devastating words, uttered by a character pushed to the absolute brink of her humanity, truly sum up the moral core of this show – no matter who you were or the person you will never get the chance to become, if you’re not part of the solution, you are the problem. And problems need to be dealt with. Just devastating.

Know what else is devastating…ly gorgeous? This nail polish! Also, friends, that is the second such horrendous non sequitur I’ve dumped on you in as many weeks. It’s the written equivalent of a star wipe, and nearly as subtle! You deserve better! You ought to revolt and tell me to go get fu —————–

*** STAR WIPE!!! ***

For these zombiefied splatter nails, I brushed on three coats of Look at the Flowers, Lizzie, an unexpectedly delicate mix of black, white, pink, yellow and green glitter in a pale, mossy green jelly base. I had initially thought this polish to be quite murky-looking, but on the nail it’s a lovely, clear yellow-green shot through with brainy bits of multi-coloured glitter in hexes, circles and squares of every size. An incredibly beautiful and unique polish that has so much more to offer besides the shock factor of its name, although that certainly doesn’t hurt, because look at what this simple swatching exercise turned into!

To do the incredibly easy – but messy and stainy – splatter effect, I dipped a straw directly into the glittery red I always use when I need a bit of blood splatter in my manis, Ceramic Glaze’s Hong Kong Diva. The straw needn’t, and shouldn’t, be dripping with polish, but there should be enough clinging to the end so that when you next blow the polish onto your nails – and for the love of all that’s holy, please remember to BLOW as opposed to SUCK (God, Elton, can’t you suck?!”) – there will actually be enough to, you know, blow. Go one nail at a time, dipping the straw back into the bottle to grab more polish as you go. I typically clean up the inevitable over-spray on my splatter manicures, but I liked the more is more approach I went with here, although I can’t condone sporting this look around, say, your boss or your nana or anyone else you don’t wish to offend with your “bloody” mitts. It also shouldn’t need saying, but please do remember to cover up anything you don’t want to see splattered in red nail polish with a large plastic bag before you get to Dexter-ing.