Shattered Dreams

Shattered Dreams Main Photo

Oof, these busted bath and beauty items are giving me nuthin’ but shattered dreams (shattered dreams!) – unfortunate victims of a sudden drop and a short stop, both. ūüė¶ And yes, I know being crushed all to bits impacts the functioning of this Luxury Lush Pud bath bomb and Unicorn Horn bubble bar not a whit, but for blogging purposes, I always prefer to have these things looking their finest.

But shattered or not, I can’t say really say my dreams with regard to these items were all that grand – I’ve been a bit off Lush as of late. ¬†Or perhaps I was never actually “on” Lush to begin with – I’ve never really cottoned to their scent blends or company aesthetic. Then a string of expensive, dudderiffic bath bombs kind of sealed the deal on my whole informal Lush embargo, at least until I’ve used up the few items I already have in storage.

Which is where this Luxury Lush Pud and Unicorn Horn come in – might as well use up that which is busted all to crap, as no saying I know of goes. ¬†Anyhow, my Pud wasn’t too badly damaged in its swan dive off the counter, so it performed nicely, throwing off first pastel – and then ultra vibrant – swirls of pink, turquoise and yellow bubbles.

Shattered Dreams Pud

And the Unicorn Horn, jaundiced devil that he is (there’s seriously so much yellow in that Horn), provided mounds of creamy, lavender-scented bubbles beneath which to sink. ¬†A very relaxing and daintily-hued bath, broken bits or not.

Shattered Dreams Bath Art

Chick ‘N’ Mix: A Mini Lush Review

Chick 'N' Mix Collage

Everybody sing it with me now: “Chicken, chicken, you can’t cluck too much for me…chicken, chicken, why don’t you come down off of that tree?” ¬†No, not familiar with that one? ¬†I suppose that’s not too surprising – I didn’t know about the Chicken song either, a children’s ditty by a singer named Nancy Cassidy, until it was featured in one of Orange is the New Black’s first season episodes, “The Chickening” (that’s the one where the residents of the Litch, starved for decent food, exercise and mental stimulation, embark on a crazed poultry hunt for a wee chicken that appears in the yard one day.)

This chicken, a Chick ‘N’ Mix bath bomb from Lush’s Easter collection, is a little less revered than OITNB’s prized poultry, although I’ve no doubt some of those ladies would shank their own grandmother for an unsupervised bubble bath. ¬†Separated into three parts – chick, shell and adorable little concealed bunny bomb – this gigantic bath ballistic cost a whopping $10.95 Canadian and is really intended for multiple uses, although I just threw total caution to the wind and chucked the whole thing in my tub en masse.

Like just about every other bath bomb I’ve purchased and used this year, the Chick ‘N’ Mix fizzed out in just a little under 30 seconds. ¬†I didn’t have time to fire off a single photo of the bath art either, because there was none – both halves sunk straight to the bottom of the tub and dissolved quite neatly. ¬†Dejected, I tossed the little orange bunny bomb into the mix and thought about how that’s $11.00 I’m never getting back.

This is the part where I try to justify another dud of a Lush purchase by noting that the Chick ‘N’ Mix bath bomb did provide me with some Easter weekend nail art inspiration. But I’m growing tired of limited use items that don’t behave as promised, don’t smell as described, AND put a neat dent in my pocketbook in the process. ¬†That’s not the kind of inspiration I need! ¬†I mean, it’s inspiring me not to want to purchase any more Lush bath bombs, but I’m fairly certain that’s not the inspiration¬†Lush needs now, is it?

Also, this bath bomb was pure nightmare fuel. ¬†Ahhhh, KILL IT! ¬†KILL IT WITH FIRE! Beware the rabid chicken bath bomb, friends, as you really ought not to share your tubby time with critters frothing green gunge at the mouth. ¬†Sage life advice, from me to you. ūüėČ

Chick 'N' Mix Kill it With Fire Pic

Over and Over: A Mini Lush Review

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So I dropped this Over and Over bath bomb into my tub the other day, and immediately began composing mildly snarky puns in my head about how over and over, Lush has been disappointing me with the longevity – or lack thereof – of their bath bombs. ¬†Of the four or five I’ve tried so far this year, all have been ultra fast fizzers, petering away to nothing in well under a minute. ¬†This bath bomb initially seemed to suffer from the completely opposite problem – after dropping it into my tub, it just kind of floated there, occasionally emitting a weak stream of pale yellow honeycomb bubbles. ¬†For the next two minutes. ¬†I seriously thought the thing was broken. ¬†Or maybe that was just my back as I crouched over the tub with my camera (like a beauty blogging moron, guys!)

Then the orange shell covering the top half of the bath bomb melted away, and the Over and Over ballistic erupted into a cheery, frothy mess of hot pink and sunshine yellow bubbles. ¬†For the next two minutes. Seriously, this bath bomb just kept going and going and going…it was the Energizer Bunny of bath products! Definitely enough to get me to eat my words on the subject of lasting power. ¬†Don’t discount your bath bomb before it’s fizzed, and all that jazz. ¬†It also made for some very, very pretty bath art.

Over and Over Collage 2

Ah, but the smell…it was terrible! ¬†Lush says lime and fennel, I say that closet at your grandparents’ house that smells like expired medicine, old Sears catalogs and unidentifiable cleaning products. ¬†It was pretty nasty. ¬†I actually climbed out of the tub and stepped straight beneath the shower in an attempt to wash off the ick. And given that the Over and Over bath bomb also stained the ever living crap out of the sides of my tub, necessitating a post-soak scrub-down of all ceramic surfaces¬†– and all for the low, low price of $8.95 Canadian – I can’t imagine that this is a bath product I’ll be reaching for again, pretty though it was.

Over and Over Collage 1

Plum Rain: A Mini Lush Review

Plum Rain Collage

With a matchy matchy mani. ¬†But first the suds! ¬†Which would be Lush’s delicious new shower gel, Plum Rain.

I’ve griped on this blog multiple times about the discord I think there is between Lush’s scent descriptions and the actual fragrances themselves. ¬†Nine times out of 10 everything comes out smelling like powdery orange “drink.” ¬†Or a musty floral I uncharitably describe as “granny’s unmentionables drawer.”

Plum Rain blessedly succumbs to neither issue, smelling precisely like its blend of vibrantly-scented ingredients – tart, juicy plums and a zesty, lime-leaning mandarin. Fans of Lush’s Layer Cake soap – I very much was one – will love Plum Rain; they smell quite similar, like cold, clear, freshly-squeezed glasses of juice.

Being a clear shower gel as opposed to one of Lush’s more colour-saturated shower creams, Plum Rain also doesn’t fall prey to the very real problem of staining the crap out of your tub and/or shower and/or skin, despite its deep and dark indigo hue. ¬†It also made my hide feel a little more scrubbed-down than when I use a shower cream, a sensation I actually prefer – all evidence to the contrary, I’m not much of a product person, and I dislike the feeling of slippery, overly-moisturized skin.

Plum Rain Bottle

Ah, but that colour! ¬†Great enough to mimic in this manicure featuring one of Enchanted Polish’s mystery lacquers from January 2015, which is the exact shade of Plum Rain (glittery bits excepted – none of those in here, you glitterphobes.)

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Plum Rain is available online and in Lush shops right now. ¬†This 100 ml bottle, which will last me the better part of the year (told you I’m not much of a product person!) retails for $10.95 Canadian.

Metamorphosis: A Mini Lush Review

Metamorphosis Collage

This bath bomb totally looks like the Death Star, right? ¬†Actually, wait, before any big time Star Wars fans start nerding at me about the placement of the exhaust port amidst all of those little concave notches, I’ll amend my statement to say this bath bomb totally looks like Spaceship Earth, right?! ¬†For those who don’t speak Disney-ese, that’s the name of the attraction that resides within the giant geodesic dome at the front gates of Epcot. The ride is basically a journey through the history of human communications – a very, very slow journey. ¬†It also features some of the most disturbingly lifelike – and just plain disturbing – animatronics in any Disney park (and there really are so very many to choose from.) ¬†But it’s essentially 20 minutes of darkened, seated, gently moving air conditioning, which means there will always be a place for it in Florida.

Anyhow, with its little speckled dimples, I think this Metamorphosis bath bomb from Lush looks like Spaceship Earth. ¬†The ride is sometimes affectionately referred to as The Big Ball of Boring, which is also apt when describing this bath bomb – cool outward appearances aside, this one didn’t have much zing. ¬†Again. This is kind of becoming a trend with my bath bombs, and a highly regrettable one at that – I don’t like it when the insides don’t match up with the super cool outsides.

Metamorphosis Pic

While I didn’t love the scent of Metamorphosis, fans of the Lord of Misrule line (a black pepper, vanilla and patchouli fragrance) will find its spicy scent quite pleasant. ¬†And while I also didn’t love that this bath bomb puttered out in a little under a minute – again – I did appreciate the deeply unusual colour combination, an odd assortment of charcoal grey, mustard yellow, baby pink and, right at the very end, a tiny puff of grass green.

At the moment the Metamorphosis bath bomb is an online-only purchase.  It retails for $8.95 Canadian.

I *Heart* Baths!

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Actually, I like baths at best. ¬†I don’t have a bathtub large enough to accommodate love. ¬†I think if I had one of those Jacuzzi monstrosities, I’d be all over bath time, but as it is, I just kind of sit there like a large frog in a small, rainbow-coloured puddle.

But I DO *heart* trying out fun bath products, like this assortment of loved-up goodies that made my Valentine’s extra bubbly and sweet. ¬†Solo, however. ¬†Valentine’s Day or no, if there’s not enough space for me in the tub, there definitely ain’t space enough for both Mr. Finger Candy and I! ¬†The comedic possibilities are actually pretty outstanding. ūüôā

But back to bath time! ¬†Which included some cute soap petal roses I always bust out for my romantically-themed baths, the last of a bottle of Lush’s Prince Charming shower cream, my favourite candle from Bath & Body Works, Pink Apple Punch, a sweet, Pink Sands-infused apple fragrance that smells like heaven in a three-wick, and two new bath bombs from Lush’s Valentine’s Day collection, heart-shaped Cupid, and heart-studded Lover Lamp.

I have no cool photos of bath art to share with you, though, because neither one of these bath bombs produced anything other than creamy white bubbles. ¬†Even Cupid, the pale pink heart pierced with a hot pink arrow, produced nothing but white fizzy after the hot pink bits broke off. ¬†But speaking of, the one remaining heart clinging to the edge of the Lover Lamp bath bomb was so super cool – definitely not edible, but it looked exactly like a perfect little heart-shaped gumdrop. ¬†I probably wouldn’t purchase either again, because both were really kind of boring! ¬†And I like a lot of pizzazz in my bath bombs. ¬†But as a fun Valentine’s Day treat, these were nice.

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Queen of Hearts

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So I always thought I was the Queen of Halloween. ¬†I’ve always loved dressing up in costumes, decorating my home and hosting terrible parties (my bad Halloween parties – yes, parties, plural – are legendary in their awkwardness, although I can’t say I loved them. ¬†Nobody did!) ¬†I was married on October 31st, for pity’s sake! But this gorgeous, lush pile of beautiful Valentine’s Day goodies suggests that my affections may lie with the 14th of February, and all its confusing, commercial connotations (riddle me this: Why do we give hand OR Hallmark-written sentiments to loved ones in the name of Saint Valentine, who was¬†blind? ¬†Also a martyr and a political prisoner, but how unsexy is that?)

It also took me next to no time to pull together this collection of items, from cute wax tarts, to the absolutely stunning silk floral wreath my mom and dad gave me in a fit of post-Christmas spoilage.  It, along with all of the other silk flower arrangements dotted about my apartment, lead me to think I may have a heretofore unacknowledged romantic streak!  Also a lot of pink, red and white things, most glittery, and right at hand, no less, living amongst me as decorative items, not just seasonal decorative items.

And so let’s see what sorts of beautiful things I’m loving on in the days leading up to Valentine’s, shall we? ¬†On the left we have, from left to right, a Sex Bomb bath ballistic from Lush, berry-shaped wax melts from Rosegirls in Strawberry Jam, a blossom-shaped wax melt from Vintage Chic Scents in Jackie O (a delicious, creamy vanilla), a pink piped heart from Rosegirls in Cotton Candy Frosting, a gorgeous pair of wax lips (the actual non-edible kind) from The Bathing Garden in The Sweetest Thing, a green-berry kind of scent, and my magnetic, kissing kitties salt and pepper shakers. ¬†I purchased the salt and pepper shakers at the same place my parents bought this gorgeous wreath, a store in my city by the name of Marie Antoinette. ¬†It might be the most beautiful shop I’ve ever been in in my life, packed to the rafters (literally; lush bouquets and other decorative baubles hang from every available surface) with a gorgeous collection of carefully curated items. When I shop there (about once a month, following a delicious donut breakfast with my mom at Suzy Q Donuts across the street) I’m hard pressed not to walk away with the entire store.

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And over on the right we have, from left to right, a Sparkling Red Slippers bubble bar from Lush, a Lover Lamp bath bomb from Lush (it smells like citrus cinnamon hearts), my favourite candle, Voluspa’s French Bourbon Vanille, nestled in a glittery stand from Bath & Body Works, a couple of loved-up iced sugar cookies from A Couple of Squares (shoutout to London, Ontario now), a neat stack of soap rosebuds, another faux floral arrangement, and finally, a wee ceramic gateau, hinged to conceal a small space for hiding tiny treasures, another darling find from Marie Antoinette. ¬†I’m in love with it all!

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Sex Bomb: A Mini Lush Review

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This bath bomb, part of Lush’s all-the-time regular collection, is one of those popular ones I see dupes or imitations of all the dang time. ¬†It’s easy to see why on looks alone – the Sex Bomb is a beautiful little bath ballistic, perfect for a special Valentine’s Day bath, all lush pinks and purples, with a tiny rosebud centre.

Except the second I let go of this bath bomb, it dropped straight to the bottom of the tub, where it fizzed out into soft rose bathwater in about 30 seconds flat, no pink and purple bath art whatsoever. ¬†I also did not care for the Sex Bomb’s fragrance, a super strong jasmine that has lingered in my bathroom for the past three days. And I really didn’t care for THIS, the sweet little rosebud centre, which is made of soap paper, which is neither soap, nor paper, but rather some sort of horrid gelatinous substance in between. ¬†It’s disgusting and only partially breaks down, floating about your tub like bits of wet tissue.

disgusting-sex-bomb

Ah, but it did make for some pretty swell nail art inspiration, even if I completely whiffed the colours. ¬†I think I was just looking for an excuse to use this beautiful purple holo from Enchanted Polish – one of their monthly picks from 2015 – and it’s been an eternity since I’ve done some floral nail art, so I won’t complain too, too much over spilled sexy bomb water. ūüėČ

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Ballistics and Sparkling Red Slippers: A Mini Lush Review

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Combating a dreary start to the week with a couple of cheer-inducing bathtime goodies from Lush, Sparkling Red Slippers bubble bar and a Never Mind the Ballistics bath bomb. Released as part of Lush’s 2016 holiday collection, I think both were brand new creations this season, at least for North American consumers.

For this super sunny bath, I crumbled up half of a Sparkling Red Slipper, a mica-dusted bubble bar the exact same shape and colour as one of Dorothy’s iconic ruby pumps, and ran it under the tap until I had a fluffy mound of bubbles. ¬†If you like to spice up your bath with coloured bubbles and water, but you’re looking for something a little softer than Lush’s usual high intensity palette of neon pinks and blues, I’d suggest a Sparkling Red Slipper bubble bar – my bathwater was a beautiful, plush rose red, and scented like a bouquet of slightly peppery carnations. ¬†Very nice!

Then, being quite careful not to drop my phone into the carnation-scented water, I lowered a Never Mind the Ballistics bath bomb into the cloud of bubbles and watched as it erupted into a delightful mess of banana split-hued bends and twirls.  And then I took pictures of it!

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I quite helpfully took no note whatsoever of Never Mind the Ballistics’ scent, but I do remember giving the simple yellow orb (partially dipped in a hot pink, bath melt-type shell) a curious sniff and thinking that it wasn’t unpleasant, and vaguely reminiscent of tart, powdery candies.

Aw, dude, I *heart* you, too! ¬†So nice when your bath products show you a little love in return. ūüėČ

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What a Wonder: A Mini Lush Review

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Okay, so I never particularly care for the scent of, well, any of these, and I always have a bit of a hard time watching $7.00 to $11.00 literally dissolve into glittery nothingness in my bathtub in less than a minute, but ding dang, Lush’s bath bombs – fizzy little orbs of multi-coloured sodium bicarbonate tenuously held together with good-for-your-skin essential oils – are just plain fun. ¬†Far preferable to regular old water (although much like dosing your drinking water with flavoured extracts, you really ought to give plain eau de tap a go every now and then; the pigmentation in these things cannot be good for your delicate bits if you’re using them every day.)

But pretty! ¬†And glittery, and colourful, and…okay, so I won’t comment on the smell. ¬†They all smell like powdered (insert approximation of whatever the heck Lush thinks X smells like.) ¬†Weirdly, though, I really like the smell of this pretty little bath bomb, Lush’s Golden Wonder. ¬†Lush’s website tells me its scent notes and active ingredients include lime oil and bourbon extract, which…maybe? ¬†Smells like citrus to me, which I quite enjoy.

Actually, I really enjoyed everything about this bath bomb, from its buttery yellow hue, to its dusting of gold mica, to its secret green and purple core. ¬†I even loved the weird little ghost creature that popped up right toward the end of the bomb’s life cycle, eking out one final, bubbly gasp before dissolving into the glittery gloom. ¬†Really, look at this odd little guy! ¬†I think he looks like one of those swooping ghost baddies from the Super Mario games. ¬†Or Mr. Boo Berry without his hat. ¬†He don’t look like nothin’ now, though, because I sat on his face (in a completely non-sexual way, of course.) ūüėČ

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The one thing I didn’t love about this bath bomb was that it, like so many Lush bath bombs I’ve purchased recently, dissolved totally in about 30 seconds flat. ¬†And while I recognize that there’s more to bath bombs than the wow factor (this one was super moisturizing and turned my bathwater the coolest shade of glittery moss green) their main job is to put on a big show. ¬†And when you’ve barely had time to whip out your camera,¬†not drop it in the tub and fire off just a smattering of photos before everything’s said and done, well, that’s not very good value for your money (in this case $6.95 Canadian.) ¬†All the same, the Golden Wonder bath bomb is one I would definitely buy again, should Lush bring it back next holiday season, with or without the little interloping ghost man!

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