Blood in the Water

Jaws Full Hand

Hey look, it’s my boy Jaws!  Always fun to catch up with my favourite fiberglass shark, with a cameo from the outstandingly tacky anchor print blazer the asshat Mayor of Amity wears as he’s dooming his island-bound constituents to death-by-shark.

Slightly tangential, but I miss the Jaws ride at Universal Studios Florida with the fire of 1,000 exploding oil tankers.  Ah, to smooch that germ-ridden mug just one more time, as I did on our honeymoon (and maybe five or six other times in my life, but this sweet shark kiss happened on our honeymoon.  Mr. Finger Candy was very understanding.) 😉

Smooching Jaws

Frenching Beetlejuice: A Then and Now Post

Beetlejuice 1

Lordy, that’s a BAD title!  Almost as bad as the nails that went along with it, a messy, dark and smudgy effort not remotely befitting one of my all time favourite movies.  And so I took another stab at turnin’ on the (Beetle)juice to see what shakes loose, tidying and brightening up this black and white striped French mani inspired by the sandworms of Saturn.

Beetlejuice 2

Along for the ride to the Neitherworld is a clamshell of Beetlejuice-inspired scented wax from Super Tarts, a fun and thoughtful gift from one of my cool online friends, Jay of The Candle Enthusiast.  Do I think Beetlejuice smells like the very yummy combination of apple butter, iced oatmeal cookies and buttermilk pancakes that Super Tarts suggests? Probably not, although I do appreciate that they didn’t go for heavy realism with this inspired-by scent – I imagine that Beetlejuice smells pretty rank.  Dude doesn’t look like he bathes very often.  I mean, he does have moss growing on his skin.  Never a good sign. 😉

Flame On!

flame-on-fingers

I was watching Cars this morning when it suddenly occurred to me that one of Ramone’s custom paint jobs – he’s the ’51 Impala who owns the paint shop – would make an excellent manicure.  So that’s precisely what I did, opting for his stylized flames-over-purple glitter number – it’s pretty badass for an animated car.

Literary Inspiration: The Virgin Suicides

virgin-suicides-collage

At the end of last year as part of my annual assessment of greatness (doesn’t that sound like something George’s dad would come up with on Seinfeld?) it came to my attention that despite quantitatively reading more than I ever have before, I read just two novels in 2016.  Otherwise, the bulk of my reading was online – my blog, other people’s blogs, and so much infuriating on-the-fly political news, my blood pressure practically demands that I return to the comforting paper (or electronic) embrace of a real novel.

And so I’ve been following along with a casual reading challenge created by my friend Julie of The Redolent Mermaid in an effort to not only read more, but read better.  Also grammar gooder. 😉 And because there’s nothing I love more than making life difficult for myself, I’ve added two sub-challenges to the main thread:

1. Where possible, all selections will be made from my own bookcase.  Despite being an avid lifelong reader, I actually fell out of favour with reading as a pastime some years back – that’s not a recent development.  As such, I have a serious backlog of gifts, loaners and hopeful recommendations that require my attention, if only to finally be able to say, “I read that!”

2. To keep it relevant to my blog, I have to do a manicure inspired by whatever I’m reading at the time.

virgin-suicides-book

Which presents a bit of a challenge (within the challenge’s challenge) when the first book you pick to fulfill the theme of a beloved or favourite novel is The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides.  The entire depressing story is right there in the title – how exactly do I draw nail art inspiration from that?  Carefully, very carefully, and respectfully, being mindful of the overall feeling the book inspires in me as opposed to a strict adherence to its events. Which, absent any context or enjoyment derived from Eugenides paying out the story, are just so, so bleak.

If you watched the 1999 Sofia Coppola movie starring Kirsten Dunst, you’re already familiar with the story and tone of The Virgin Suicides.  The film is faithful to both, chronicling the year in 1970s Grosse Pointe, Michigan over which all five teenage Lisbon girls – Cecilia, Mary, Therese, Bonnie and Lux – take their lives.  The story is told from the perspective of a group of neighbourhood boys whose trainwreck-like obsession with the girls stretches into adulthood, upon which they reconvene one last time for a final forensic analysis of a shattered family, a decaying neighbourhood, the girls’ inexplicable deaths and, indeed, their own passing lives.  Really lightweight stuff!

I think Sofia Coppola’s adaptation of the novel is about as perfect as one can be, particularly that feeling of floating about inside a hazy, pastel-hued cloud.  But in both the film and the novel, there’s nasty little moldy bits creeping in along the edges of all that cotton candy fluff – cracks in the rose-coloured glasses that have let in the rot.  In the book more so than the movie, this is represented by the Lisbon family home, a staid suburban structure whose internal and external disrepair mirrors its residents’ rapidly decaying mental states.  And as the Lisbons incrementally retreat from their friends, their neighbours, the world, the family home, once a bustling hub of shimmery teenage girl activity, becomes a stale, airless crypt housing little more than living ghosts and their moss-covered memories of what can never again be.

virgin-suicide-nails

Super uplifting. 😉  And I can’t really explain why it’s my favourite book 20 years running, except that it just is. The weird heart wants what the weird heart wants, I suppose.  I just hope I did it right with my interpretation of the book’s tone, that feeling of life’s bright spark being born under by decay.  Let’s leave it on that cheery note!

Center Stage

center-stage-fingers

These ballet slipper nails – three traditional pink, one the shade of sultry, heathen independence! – are for one of my oldest and dearest friends, who is one of my oldest and dearest friends precisely because she shares my love of ultra cheesy ’90s ballet movie, Center Stage.  There are, of course, other reasons we’ve been in each other’s lives going on 25 years now (oh. my. lord.) but mostly it’s just Center Stage.  Jodie Sawyer’s shitty turnout and desperation cookies are the glue that holds our friendship together. 😉

Also the completely awesome mini ballet that closes out the film, wherein Jodie, who has spent the movie embroiled in a love triangle with her sexy rebel teacher and a cute classmate, throws off the shackles of spurned and unrequited love and JUST DANCES THE SHIT OUT OF IT!  And somehow pulls off an ON STAGE quick change, going from a pink tights-and-pastels costume to a sparkly red number, complete with blood red lips, elaborately knotted hair ribbons and the devil’s toe shoes, in the span of about 10 seconds. Dance movie magic at its finest!

Harley Quinn

harley-hand

And here’s my pick for what’s sure to be Halloween 2016’s most popular costume for women (and some adventurous men), Harley Quinn!  Harley’s Suicide Squad costume (not to be confused with her traditional red, black and white jester’s suit) seems practically tailor made for today’s modern Halloween reveler – a slightly divisive figure from recent violent pop culture, lots of Hot Topic-type goth clown makeup and tiny little glittery underpants! I semi-joked back in the summer before the movie came out that somebody needed to figure out a way to harness the energy-producing power of teenage boners, because Margot Robbie’s performance could light the entire eastern seaboard for the next two to four years, an assessment I stand by after finally watching the flick – she was crazy hot (solid emphasis on the crazy.)  Girl’s got style, too – love her whole crash queen aesthetic.  Happy Halloween, Harley!

harley-collage

Fall Fun Series: The Blair Witch Project

blair-witch-fingers

Today’s prompt in the Fall Fun Series called for a Halloween movie review, but do you suppose it’d be okay to submit these Blair Witch nails instead?  Because my favourite Halloweentime movie is actually Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows (“WHHHHHHhhhhhhyyyyy?!? said everyone ever) and nobody needs a review of that (another bunch of young people head out to the Burkittsville Woods to investigate the legend of the Blair Witch, with fairly predictable results, if by predictable you mean completely incomprehensible, totally devoid of story and only watchable because Jeffrey Donovan (Michael Westen of Burn Notice!) is the hotness in thermal underwear.)

But the little wicker people the Witch widgets together out of twigs and other bits of trees appear in both movies (and I’m guessing also the upcoming sequel (?) Blair Witch.)  So even though this is technically a Book of Shadows manicure, I thought I’d stick with the traditional Blair Witch symbol.  And trees – always gotta have LOTS of bare-limbed trees in your lost-in-the-woods movie.  And Jeffrey Donovan looking like a drunken, dirty farm rat.  Yup, more of that, please. 😉