The second prompt in the nail art challenge I’m participating in over on Instagram is “Wicked Witches,” and who’s more wicked than…okay, so I was going to say the Wicked Witch of the East, but we don’t ever really get to know her, either in the Wizard of Oz or one of those interminable Wicked re-imaginings I can’t stand (the books; can’t speak to the stage productions.)
No, we don’t know much about the easternmost point of the witch compass, though we DO know that she had the flyest threads in the Merry Old Land of Oz – pun very much intended. I’m totally on board with any babe badass enough to pair black-and-white striped hosiery with glittery red pumps. Shame about the house business, though, and that footwear-thieving Dorothy. Honestly, that’s how I would have written The Wizard of Oz – screw this avenging sister, Wicked Witch of the West business. I’d have the broad rise up, brute force Dorothy’s sepia-toned shack off her bod like the friggin’ Hulk and then dump it directly on top of Miss Dorothy, her cabal of broken toys, AND the little dog, too. Then I’d have her set fire to Oz (starting with the headquarters of the Lollipop Guild) with her Superman laser eyes. The Wicked Witch of the West doesn’t factor into my story at all – you really don’t need someone on your team whose greatest nemesis is WATER.
Hmm, seems I’m feeling a bit witchy and twitchy myself today – just call me the Wicked Witch of the West End. Well, at least I have the nails – and now also the glittery ruby slippers as well! – to pull it off.