Calamity Carol

Calamity Carol Bottle

As in Carol of The Walking Dead.  Although…alluringly alliterative though it may be, is “calamity” really the correct descriptor for Carol Peletier’s very particular brand of post-apocalyptic madness?  Girlfriend’s ice cold, and I kind of love it.  Or I loved it right up until she suddenly – and abruptly, because this is The Walking Dead – began acting completely contrary to her long-established character, running off alone to ruminate on man’s inhumanity to man, when she should have been back in Alexandria terrorizing small, frightened children with her apocalypse cookies and impressively detailed death scenarios.  I totally hate-watch The Walking Dead, so I actually don’t have much of a stake in it one way or another, but I’d like to see Carol get her mojo back next season – every apocalypse needs its rage goddess.

Personal feelings on both the show and the comics aside, I love the idea of The Walking Dead, as evidenced by this TWD-themed polish from Dollish Polish, Look at the Flowers, Lizzie, a mucus-hued favourite.  Straight up, this polish looks like snot – ain’t nothing wrong with that!  Here I topped Look at the Flowers, Lizzie with two sweet flower studs and a couple of badass silver spike strips.  I definitely think Carol – any version, really – would approve.

Calamity Carol Fingers

An Earth Day Epilogue

Earth Day Epilogue Shade

This very Earthy dry brush mani would have made a fine blogging addition to yesterday’s Earth Day festivities, had I not been otherwise indisposed via computer busted all to crap (technical term, “busted all to crap.”)  I *might* read a lot into it happening on Earth Day, suggest it’s nature fighting back against our impersonal, technologically-dependent lives, except the Big Blue Screen of Death happened over a week ago.  In the meantime, I spun my wheels a little.  Or rather, I spun my wheels a lot. Turns out I’m way more technologically-dependent than I ever suspected!

Although these low tech nails might suggest otherwise – nothing more difficult here than the very forgiving dry brush technique in a handful of lush, jungley greens and aquatic blues.  I’m positively in love with how the tiny bits of holographic glitter catch the light like the surface of tropical, sun-dappled waters.  Happy belated Day, Earth!

Earth Day Epilogue Sun

Chick ‘N’ Mix: A Mini Lush Review

Chick 'N' Mix Collage

Everybody sing it with me now: “Chicken, chicken, you can’t cluck too much for me…chicken, chicken, why don’t you come down off of that tree?”  No, not familiar with that one?  I suppose that’s not too surprising – I didn’t know about the Chicken song either, a children’s ditty by a singer named Nancy Cassidy, until it was featured in one of Orange is the New Black’s first season episodes, “The Chickening” (that’s the one where the residents of the Litch, starved for decent food, exercise and mental stimulation, embark on a crazed poultry hunt for a wee chicken that appears in the yard one day.)

This chicken, a Chick ‘N’ Mix bath bomb from Lush’s Easter collection, is a little less revered than OITNB’s prized poultry, although I’ve no doubt some of those ladies would shank their own grandmother for an unsupervised bubble bath.  Separated into three parts – chick, shell and adorable little concealed bunny bomb – this gigantic bath ballistic cost a whopping $10.95 Canadian and is really intended for multiple uses, although I just threw total caution to the wind and chucked the whole thing in my tub en masse.

Like just about every other bath bomb I’ve purchased and used this year, the Chick ‘N’ Mix fizzed out in just a little under 30 seconds.  I didn’t have time to fire off a single photo of the bath art either, because there was none – both halves sunk straight to the bottom of the tub and dissolved quite neatly.  Dejected, I tossed the little orange bunny bomb into the mix and thought about how that’s $11.00 I’m never getting back.

This is the part where I try to justify another dud of a Lush purchase by noting that the Chick ‘N’ Mix bath bomb did provide me with some Easter weekend nail art inspiration. But I’m growing tired of limited use items that don’t behave as promised, don’t smell as described, AND put a neat dent in my pocketbook in the process.  That’s not the kind of inspiration I need!  I mean, it’s inspiring me not to want to purchase any more Lush bath bombs, but I’m fairly certain that’s not the inspiration Lush needs now, is it?

Also, this bath bomb was pure nightmare fuel.  Ahhhh, KILL IT!  KILL IT WITH FIRE! Beware the rabid chicken bath bomb, friends, as you really ought not to share your tubby time with critters frothing green gunge at the mouth.  Sage life advice, from me to you. 😉

Chick 'N' Mix Kill it With Fire Pic

Celebration Nails

Celebration Nails

And what are we celebrating on this fine April Fool’s Day?  My impending fourth decade of existence, in a couple weeks’ time, and that’s unfortunately no joke.  Nobody likes getting older, except maybe six-year-olds. But tonight I’m going out with friends to celebrate in advance like adults, with roast beast by candlelight and something brown and bracing in a rocks glass.  Seeing as I need a pretty manicure for that (or would merely like one) I think these eye-catching, colour-shifting nails will suffice!

Game Over

Game Over Fingers

Back when I started all this nail art business, the joke among my people was that the day I showed up with skulls and dangly unicorn pendants hanging from my fingertips was the day they could all ship me off to the funny farm for tacky nail artists.

Well, I’m pleased to say, friends, that that day has finally arrived!  Truly, this manicure is just a dollar sign and a marijuana leaf away from total perfection.  Okay, okay, so the unicorn isn’t dangling, but my shorter-than-most nails simply don’t allow for – yikes, this term always gives me the willies – nail piercing.  But nail charms – especially super tacky ones gifted to me by my husband as a kind of inside joke – are most certainly allowed, even ones that span my entire nail and then some.

I particularly like that I’ve paired this hideous-looking skull and its misshapen unicorn buddy with one of the most high end polishes in my collection, Enchanted Polish’s gold-flecked Christmas in July.  Life’s full of contrasts, my friends.

Jolly Geos

Jolly Geos Fingers

Geographic nails – excellent practice at keeping a steady hand with a detail brush, and a great excuse to just mess around with a bunch of pretty polishes, here OPI’s royal purple, Do You Have This Color in Stock-holm?, Essie’s orchid-hued Play Date and Sally Hansen’s warm pink, No Ifs, Ands, or Buds (am I the last person on earth to resist the Oxford comma?  Here it is on my nail polish, for cripes’ sake!)

Sunday Night Simpsons

Sunday Night Simpsons

It’s been a long time since my standing Sunday night appointment with The Simpsons, but man, back in the day, I had a real Simpsons problem.  In university when I lived at home with my parents, I’d hog the remote and make them watch two episodes over the dinner hour.  They always laughed, but after the fourth time hearing “Yes, Lisa, a magical animal” (my Dad’s favourite, and frequently uttered, quote) they started feeling a bit of Simpsons fatigue.  I watched a bunch of season 4 episodes this afternoon for the first time in ages, and they were absolutely hilarious – must add more Simpsons to my life, starting with these nails!