Well, that’s a terrible pun based off a not-so-great song (Cake by the Ocean by DNCE) that was nonetheless a total ear worm, which is how I wound up doing these nails yesterday when I was in a funky bad mood and could think of nothing better to cheer myself up than some nail art and a bit of bad punnage. So mission accomplished? Because I’m feeling much better today, and these nails are pretty funny, and maybe even just plain old pretty. 🙂
For all my friends longing for – or on the cusp of – a nice, relaxing beach day. Me, I don’t do beaches. Me + sun = crispy red lobster, so I tend to abstain. I’m also totally that pooh that sits there in a long-sleeved rash guard, sarong, wide-brimmed hat and SPF 70, fussily rotating the beach umbrella into the shade every 23 and a half minutes.
So no actual beaches for me! But I’m quite content with this very beachy manicure, which utilizes a new-to-me technique, water spotting. In water spotting, you drop a few polish droplets onto the surface of water (here a basic white creme to mimic the sudsy surf rushing ashore a sandy beach.) Then taking a spray perfume or cologne, spritz onto the surface of the polish, creating a semi-transparent, lacy effect like the rushing surf. Then you dip your painted nails into the polish as you would with a water marble manicure. And since no shoreline would be complete without at least a few seashells and starfish, I added a few of those, too. Surf’s up!
Here’s another beautiful pick from Smitten Polish, Glacial Springs, a lush turquoise jelly stuffed with blue and green and blue-green holographic micro glitter. Its prettiness is undeniable, but I particularly love its name, which is incredibly apt. Having travelled to northern Canada in the ghastly dead of winter, I can tell you through first-hand knowledge that offset against the stark white of the ice and snow, the water that peeks through the cracks in the ice far out in the ocean (plainly visible from the plane, owing to what felt like our super low cruising altitude) is the most gorgeous shade of electric neon turquoise. Most people associate this type of deep, glittery blue with tropical water, but it also works in the other direction, temperature-wise!
One day when I was a kid, I very grandly announced to my parents that when I grew up, I was going to become a marine biologist. No doubt this surprised the heck out of my parents, as I had never shown any appreciable talent or interest in the biological sciences (my parents still speak in disbelieving, vaguely awed terms about the Sunday evening in grade 2 when I commented rather nonchalantly that I had a leaf project due the next morning. Cue my mother frantically running around our not-insubstantial front lawn scooping up handfuls of wet, moldy leaves whilst yelping, “Maple! I’ve got a Maple! And, um…oh crap, what is this?! Oh, Poplar! Okay, next show momma an Oak!”)
They were probably also a bit surprised by my exclamation on account of the fact that for as long as I can remember, I have been terrified of large bodies of water and the critters that dwell beneath them. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a phobia in the traditional sense of the word. I don’t break out into hives or shriek at the mere sight of a river (good thing, too, since I live right beside one.) I’m also not so weird about it that I won’t boat or even, say, swim with sharks in a highly sanitized experience at Walt Disney World. But honestly, the mere thought of even wading into the ocean up to my mid-calves fills me with a kind of dread I just don’t need in my life. It’s mostly the not knowing that creeps me out – like, what is down there going about its business while my legs dangle enticingly above? I think I’d be okay scuba diving (in a group, please – safety in numbers!) because at least I’d be down there with the things that want to eat me, you know? Because it’s better to see the things that are going to shock, sting, squeeze and bite me to death, I guess?
Anyhow, I think it goes without saying my future plans did not pan out. But don’t worry, I’m not too broken up about it (neither are my parents; imagine them trying to fix my neglected shark project two hours before deadline!) Turns out I’d far prefer to paint pretty coral reefs on my nails than actually be underwater with them. 😉
Sharp eyed, ecologically minded folks may notice the cluster of dirty sea anemones I dotted around the base of my adorable kelp forest. The kelp forests are endangered and sea anemones love to nosh on the tender roots, thereby killing the plants. Enter the mighty sea otter, who loves to gorge on anemones, and you’ve got quite the majestic circle of life.
But I don’t know how to draw otters, so I stuck with a shark. It seems to me the king of the sea should be able to scare away a few little anemones, right? 😉