Chick ‘N’ Mix: A Mini Lush Review

Chick 'N' Mix Collage

Everybody sing it with me now: “Chicken, chicken, you can’t cluck too much for me…chicken, chicken, why don’t you come down off of that tree?”  No, not familiar with that one?  I suppose that’s not too surprising – I didn’t know about the Chicken song either, a children’s ditty by a singer named Nancy Cassidy, until it was featured in one of Orange is the New Black’s first season episodes, “The Chickening” (that’s the one where the residents of the Litch, starved for decent food, exercise and mental stimulation, embark on a crazed poultry hunt for a wee chicken that appears in the yard one day.)

This chicken, a Chick ‘N’ Mix bath bomb from Lush’s Easter collection, is a little less revered than OITNB’s prized poultry, although I’ve no doubt some of those ladies would shank their own grandmother for an unsupervised bubble bath.  Separated into three parts – chick, shell and adorable little concealed bunny bomb – this gigantic bath ballistic cost a whopping $10.95 Canadian and is really intended for multiple uses, although I just threw total caution to the wind and chucked the whole thing in my tub en masse.

Like just about every other bath bomb I’ve purchased and used this year, the Chick ‘N’ Mix fizzed out in just a little under 30 seconds.  I didn’t have time to fire off a single photo of the bath art either, because there was none – both halves sunk straight to the bottom of the tub and dissolved quite neatly.  Dejected, I tossed the little orange bunny bomb into the mix and thought about how that’s $11.00 I’m never getting back.

This is the part where I try to justify another dud of a Lush purchase by noting that the Chick ‘N’ Mix bath bomb did provide me with some Easter weekend nail art inspiration. But I’m growing tired of limited use items that don’t behave as promised, don’t smell as described, AND put a neat dent in my pocketbook in the process.  That’s not the kind of inspiration I need!  I mean, it’s inspiring me not to want to purchase any more Lush bath bombs, but I’m fairly certain that’s not the inspiration Lush needs now, is it?

Also, this bath bomb was pure nightmare fuel.  Ahhhh, KILL IT!  KILL IT WITH FIRE! Beware the rabid chicken bath bomb, friends, as you really ought not to share your tubby time with critters frothing green gunge at the mouth.  Sage life advice, from me to you. 😉

Chick 'N' Mix Kill it With Fire Pic

Orange is the New Mystical Chicken

Orange is the New BlackOne of my favourite bits from the first season of Orange is the New Black is Red’s monologue about the rarely-sighted wild chicken that once came to her in a dream wearing a black top hat set just jauntily so. She rhapsodizes about how all she wants is to eat the capture-alluding chicken that’s smarter than all the other chickens (she plans to turn it into a nice Kiev) to absorb its power. It’s a wistfully batshit moment in a show that specializes in such charming inanities, and touches off a fun, albeit unhinged, poultry hunt amongst the residents of the Litch, much to Alpha Red’s annoyance. But not to fear, foul favourers, the chicken lives to see another day, disappearing into the the foggy fall mists surrounding Litchfield Penn. I hope we get to see her again, if only so Red can get a decent home cooked meal.

These Orange-inspired nails draw inspiration from the chicken episode and Red in general (you know she’d paint her claws a vampy crimson like this one), with a wee nod to the prisoners’ neon Department of Corrections togs and the ladies’ usual grey civvies.

Vee

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I’m deep into the second season of Orange is the New Black (just the finale to go), and so everything remotely V-shaped, including this manicure, reminds me of Vee, no one’s favourite stone cold psycho predator. For a show that seems to pride itself on finding some nugget of empathy for even the most reprehensible of characters (whaddup, Pennsatucky?), there is a remarkably shallow wellspring of goodwill for Vee, mostly because she engenders exactly zero goodwill in the first place. Girlfriend’s just straight up evil. Fans of The Wire will know exactly what I’m talking about when I say that Vee and Marlo Stanfield would make an excellent couple – cold, remorseless and wedded to The Game. And somewhere I just touched off some VERY odd fan fic!

For these nails, a simple V-shaped design, I layered KB Shimmer’s glittery white, Full Bloom Ahead, over top of Sally Hansen’s Lustre Shine in Lava, a beautiful pink-to-gold-to-copper multichrome with a fun foil finish. It’s a bit of an odd colour combination, but startlingly pretty all the same.