We Found Love in a Hostess Cake

I know the actual lyric to the Rihanna song is “We found love in a hopeless place,” but ever since the Fug Girls of Go Fug Yourself pointed out that it sounds more like “We found love in a Hostess cake,” I hear nothing else. Love is fleeting, crinkly cellophane wrappers filled with sugary saturated fats are forever.

For these sweet nails featuring the classic Hostess chocolate cupcake and Tallahassee’s nemesis, the Sno Ball (little Zombieland reference for you there), I made great use out of an otherwise pretty limited use polish, OPI by Nicole’s Roughles in Rock the Look. Textured polishes, and the entire stucco-ish Roughles collection, were all the rage a couple of years ago, but have fallen somewhat out of fashion in recent times.  I think that’s because, save for an intrepid few nail artists willing to fashion them into, say, pink coconut shavings to decorate their lacquered Sno Ball designs, textured polishes really have but one use – adorning your nails in a simple manicure, and maybe also snagging the crap out of your hosiery.

Here I sponged Rock the Look, a rosy pink textured polish studded with the tiniest of matte black glitter, over a plain white creme to mimic the highly unnatural consistency and hue of Sno Balls, before adding a couple of nails’ worth of the classic chocolate cupcake (with regrettably uneven scalloped icing.  We’ll call them factory imperfects – best to devour them straightaway.)

Pink Sugar

I’m ending this week of unintentionally rainbow-ordered manis the way I began it, with a swatch, but this time of an older, textured glitter polish from my stash, Nicole by OPI’s Candy is Dandy from last year’s super sweet Gumdrops Collection. I posted a photo of this polish last Spring when it first came into my possession, but with the benefit of a year comes MUCH better looking nails and a greatly improved polishing technique (to say nothing of my enhanced iPhotography skills), and so I thought I’d take another run at this sparkly textured beauty.

And never are well-tended nails and careful polishing more important than with textured lacquers, let me tell you. There’s not a lot of after-the-fact tinkering that can be done, so go slowly, paint carefully and allow each layer to dry fully before moving on to the next. I also find it helps to tidy as I go; I keep an orangewood stick with a pointed tip nearby to quickly scrape off any little over-polished boo-boos. Having said that, Candy is Dandy provoked very few inadvertent boo-boos in the first place, applying smoothly and covering completely in three light coats. Texture-wise, this polish isn’t too rough. It actually feels very much the way it looks – like your nails have been dusted with pink sugar. Of course, if you absolutely detest the sandpapery texture, you can always top it with one thick coat of Seche Vite; it looks quite (Candy is) Dandy that way.

Regrettably, the Nicole by OPI collection, a trend-oriented, drugstore alternative to OPI’s pricier salon line, seems to be on a bit of an extended hiatus. I haven’t seen any new polishes come out for the Nicole line since last year’s four-piece Roughles Collection, which is a shame, because the Nicole line skews a little less expensive and a whole lot more fun than OPI’s regular offerings. Come back to us, drugstore nail polish choice!

Patrick

Patrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants’ starfish best friend, provided the inspiration for these nails, which highlight Patrick’s cute and dorky board shorts and nubby, pink-hued skin (the key there being Nicole by OPI’s Rock the Look from this spring’s Roughles collection, a matte textured polish that looks just like pink, bumpy Patrick.)

Rough Edges

I rarely, if ever, purchase whole whacks of nail polish in one shot, primarily because of the not insignificant cost to do so, but also because I don’t feel the need to have eight different teal chromatics as represented by eight different manufacturers. My addictive personality thankfully does not extend to hoarding nail polish…yet.

But when swatches of these polishes, Nicole by OPI’s Roughles, started popping up on other nail blogs I like to frequent, I knew I’d have to get my hands on one (or two or three) of them. They were a different and fun option in a sea of samey, and I can’t deny the vibrant-yet-paradoxically-subtle pastel hues were calling out to my winter fatigued soul. Plus there was that whole thing where I was thinking about them all the time and coming up with excuses as to why I couldn’t do certain nail art designs without them. That has to be true love, right? So when, on an innocent visit to the drugstore this morning to purchase painkillers and antacids, they simply fell into my shopping basket, who was I to object? Clearly they knew I’d give them a good home.

And indeed I have, but before I allowed them to settle in, I put them to work in a couple of swatchy-type manicures to show off their pretty pastel prettiness. And I’m pleased to report the four polishes (textured mattes studded with matte microglitter) are really beautiful, and the perfect lightly textured backdrop for a bit of long overdue springtime nail art (overdue spring, that is; the nail art I got covered.)

Here I’ve shown On What Grounds?, a warm turquoise polish flecked with blue and grey microglitter, and Rock the Look, a pink polish dusted with super fine black and orange glitter.

And here I’ve shown Sand in My Shoe, a citrusy-looking yellow polish run through with orange glitter, and I’m Stucco on You (great name), a pale grape polish dusted with red and blue glitter.