Arizona Shrimp Horny

That’s a line from one of my favourite TV shows, The Good Place, about Kristen Bell’s character, self-described Arizona trashbag Eleanor Shellstrop, a woman who REALLY loves her shrimp.  And maybe even in the biblical sense, according to dimwitted friend Jason Mendoza, an act I would really not put beyond her – Eleanor’s a delightful pervert who’s constantly, improbably horny for everyone and everything, and I’m sure that includes her beloved shrampies.

But all this talk of shrimp, in service of this manicure I did after getting the “Arizona shrimp horny” line stuck in my head for days, made me realize that there are a lot of references to shrimp in my favourite movies and TV shows, and they all make me laugh uproariously.  Brooklyn 99’s Jake is dismayed when he discovers that cruise ship latrines empty into the ocean – “But that’s where my shrimp live!”  Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Anya loves to talk up the all-shrimp (or no-shrimp) worlds that populate other dimensions.  The Birdcage’s Agador (Agador Spartacus?) protests when another character whisks away the seafood chowder he’s prepared, calling after them in a singsongy Puerto Rican accent, “But you forgot da tshrimps!”  Raising Hope’s Jimmy horrifies his family after returning home from his grocery store job reeking of disemboweled decapods (“Oh my god, what is that smell?!”  “The poop of 50,000 shrimps.”)  And let’s not forget about The Muppets’ Pepe the Prawn, who always seems to be on the unfortunate end of one of Miss Piggy’s schemes to make Kermit jealous (I laugh for days at the bit in the movie with Jason Segal and Amy Adams where Kermit walks in on Piggy and Pepe, in costume, practicing the lift from the end of Dirty Dancing.  He’s in a tiny little leather jacket, and desperately trying to fend off Piggy’s without-warning attempts at launching herself up and over him while “I’ve Had the Time of My Life” warbles in the background.  Mr. Finger Candy and I practically giggled ourselves into fits contemplating this wee shrimp version of Johnny Castle (we’ve dubbed him Prawny Castle, because how could we not?)

Turns out there’s a lot of references to shrimp in my favourite pop culture, and now here the little buggers are adorning my nails.  Think I might have as big a problem as Eleanor? 😉

Pretty Prawn

These nails, which at a distance look a bit like damask wallpaper, are a fine example of one of those designs that starts in one place and winds up 8,000 miles away in another. I had initially intended to do a shrimp design – yes, the decapod crustacean commonly found in a flubby, partially defrosted plastic ring in your freezer – based off a bit of an inside joke between my husband and I (I had my eye on a pink polish quite similar to this one called Shrimp Scampi, and when he asked me if I had found it, he referred to it, in a most prissy voice, as Pretty Prawn. I laughed for about five solid minutes. What can I say, I’m easily amused.)

But as it so often goes with the art of nail art, my first (and second and third) attempts at more detailed shrimp were not to be, and I so changed tact and went with a more girly, all-over shrimp-ish design that, again, really does look a bit like a crustacean-adorned damask print. And while this polish, Electric Dream from Picture Polish, is not the Shrimp Scampi of *my* dreams (where it shall have to stay, as it’s been sadly discontinued), it’s close enough to inspire a nail art design based on little more than an admittedly dorky joke (sorry, sweetie!)