Straight off the bat, let’s establish my Star Wars fangirl bona fides – I have none! I will freely admit to being a fairweather friend to the Star Wars franchise. I loved The Force Awakens, haven’t actually seen The Last Jedi (although I look forward to that shirtless Kylo Ren scene I keep hearing so much about) and I watch A New Hope, Empire and Jedi every May the 4th purely because my husband loves them and I love him. Otherwise…I mean, you guys have seen how Boba Fett goes out. This is the galactic badass every guy I’ve ever known has rhapsodized about? Holy cripes.
Okay, so I don’t worship at the temple of the Jedi (that’s probably an actual thing, right?) But that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate what Disney has done at Hollywood Studios in the lead-up to the 2019 opening of Galaxy’s Edge, which is nothing short of incredible. I was legitimately dazzled by the ultra detailed world-building Disney has already carried out in the absence of, you know, an actual physical space in which to build their world (that bit of Disney magic is carefully concealed behind tall construction walls, a solid third of the park.)
Whether it’s droll Stormtroopers walking about the park, offering deadpan observations about the Florida weather, or the hourly live stage show, featuring recreations of iconic scenes from the movies, or the awesome character meet-and-greets, or the displays of props and memorabilia, or the short preview films, or the completely nutso light, projection and fireworks show that closed out the evening, there’s so much to experience and so, so much to be excited about. It’s going to be just bonkers when the fully immersive “Star Wars Land” opens in 2019. Also bonkers busy. Think about the lineups in Pandora and then multiply that by a factor of 25,000 rabid Star Wars fans. Should be fun! Also sounds like a challenge for these two amusement park masochists. Consider the gauntlet thrown! Also, try the blue milk, it’s…delicious?
So in the absence of any new, big ticket attractions like actual rides, precisely what adventures did we have at the edge of Galaxy’s Edge? Well, we…
…rode Star Tours, the OG Hollywood Studios attraction. This hulking AT-AT, which is large enough to block out the sky, stands in front of the entrance to the ride, while the Ewok-constructed walkways of Endor provide in-line shade from the hot midday sun. The detail here is just exceptional; if it’s any indication of what we can come to expect from Galaxy’s Edge, it’s going to be phenomenal.
Less phenomenal was discovering, mid-ride, just as I was admiring Poe Dameron’s handsome face in the newly-added scenes, that motion simulators (like the one I was on) no longer accord with my increasingly wussy constitution. I’ve always been known for having a bit of a cast iron stomach. I’ve been temporarily felled by food poisoning a time or two, true, but over the whole of my life, I have rarely experienced an issue with motion sickness. And in this very specific instance, I have never experienced an issue with motion sickness over probably 10 lifetime rides.
That is regrettably no longer the case, because Star Tours turned me inside out. As did another motion sim, Flight of Passage, one of the Avatar rides at the Animal Kingdom, some days later. I closed my eyes through the majority of that one (what you can’t see can’t make you throw up), but I had yet to learn that lesson on Star Tours. I immediately broke out into a prickly, ice cold sweat, and then spent the next four minutes desperately trying to stop myself from launching my cookies into hyperspace. Mission somehow complete, I stumbled off the ride and immediately collapsed on a garbage can-adjacent bench, the back of my light grey t-shirt soaked with panic sweat. It was a hell of an exit. 😦 On a less dismaying note, we also…
…met Chewbacca! Quite the gracious fella, and super giving with the hugs. Look at how chill he is up there with his furry paws slung over our shoulders! Next up, we were…
…alternately creeped out and freaked out by this emo lurker. Meeting Kylo Ren was – not too surprising, this – INTENSE. He basically stalked around for a few minutes sizing us up before accusing us of being Resistance sympathizers. Then he booted us off Star Killer Base! Did he not take note of my husband’s Empire Red shirt or my Vader Kitty tee? Probably just seething behind that mask, thinking about perceived slights. And his hair. Possibly his abs. Super weird dude.
Here I am attempting not to giggle in the face of galactic greatness, and failing miserably. Disrespecting a Supreme Leader of the First Order – think that one’s gonna cost me? 😉 Anyhow, once I was done with that little bit of treason, we went out and…
…had a lightsaber battle! It was actually quite cathartic.
This was MORE cathartic! Or at least it was for me. 😉 I’ve been not-at-all joking that this is going to be next year’s Christmas card. I think it is my favourite photo of us ever. Next up we…
…met a Stormtrooper. One of the sassy ones who like to gripe about the Florida humidity. Mr. Finger Candy is bearing a look on his face, standing there beside one of his childhood obsessions (a toy literally freakin’ come to life!) that suggests that his brain just might have broke. 🙂 It was actually really super cute watching him geek out over a beloved movie franchise springing into glorious life right before his eyes. Speaking of, we also…
…took in a lot of cool movie memorabilia, such as the Millennium Sparrow and a weird cage ‘o parts containing R2D2’s missing arm. Haha, I’m just kidding – I’m not that much of a Star Wars doof. I know it’s the Millennium Eagle and C3PG’s arm, duh! 😉
There were also a number of prop and replica helmets, weapons, costumes and vehicles on display, such as Rey’s broken down hunk of junk (talking about her weird burlap hoodie here and not the hover vehicle.)
Also the creepy lurker’s seriously ill-conceived, dual-ended lightsaber (that thing really does look like it was designed by a fourth grader) and a $2,500 bust of Kylo Ren’s grandpappy, to which he darkly promised he’d finish what he started. We also took some time to…
…meet BB-8! There was definitely a bit of a communication barrier between us and everybody’s favourite droid, but his cute chirps transcended the human-droid communication gap – apparently he was quite taken with my ears. 🙂 Towards the end of the evening we also found time to…
…indulge in a bit of Star Wars-related consumerism. We picked up these matching hats, bearing what about a half dozen guys assured us is THE most romantic sentiment ever uttered in a movie, along with this cute Resistance Tech pin bearing my husband’s name in the language of Aurebesh. Wearing matching anything may seem pretty dorky, but like the Jack and Sally hats we purchased at Halloween, these chapeaus really saved our easily freckled, tender pink skin from nastier burns than the ones we already received. Also, wearing matching clothes is practically expected at Disney; these hats definitely fall on the lower end of the Matchy Kingdom scale (I saw a family of about 15 at Christmas all wearing custom printed fleece onesies. It was sort of disturbing!) We finally closed out the evening with…
…front row, slightly right-of-centre seats for the Star Wars: A Galactic Spectacular fireworks and projection light show. This show, featuring iconic scenes from the movies, was absolutely incredible, and I say that as someone not hugely enamored with the films. Truth be told, I’ve always found them to be cold, and maybe even a little bit soulless. But I was an emotional wreck during this show, puffing up with fury during General Hux’s righteously indignant call-to-arms, cheering as colourful lasers and gigantic fireballs set fire to the night, and welling up with tears as pretty pretty Luke gazed off tenderly into the sunset(s). Such an emo family, those Skywalkers. And with all of it set to John Williams’ iconic score, it’s an amazingly large and fulfilling experience for Star Wars fans and near-newbies alike. A can’t miss if you’re at Disney World, period. I’d come back to see this one in a heartbeat.
There were a number of other Star Wars-related things we took in over the course of the day, from the impressive March of the First Order, to the hourly midday show, and all of it punctuated by the “sounds of Star Wars” – marching Stormtroopers, Vader’s breathing, and so. many. freakin’. explosions! There’s just stuff blowing up all the time, all over the park.
We had a simply stupendous time exploring all of the Star Wars offerings at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. There is so much to do right now, and that’s a full year before the rope even drops for Galaxy’s Edge. Based on the amazing time we had at Christmas, it’s going to be an experience worth waiting for (and waiting in line for; the place is going to be overrun for, oh, about the first two years!) But you know that we’ll be there – wouldn’t miss it for the world. Or the galaxy. 😉
Finger Candy 