50 Shades of Nay

Bubble Yum Collage.jpg

So the weather has returned to its previous state of icy terribleness and I needed some pretty nails to remind me that one day this will all end.  I mean, not ALL of it in that sense – too bleak!  Just the weather.  The crap weather can totally end, right now.  Bring on the spring.  Until then, nail polish that looks like bubblegum ice cream, Delush Polish’s 50 Shades of Yay.  Or just bubblegum straight up trapped in ice.  Hey, welcome to the club, bubblegum – we’ve got (warm) jackets.

Bubble Yum 1

Being of a slightly superstitious mindset, I believe that Mr. Finger Candy and I may have inadvertently cursed us all to this extended bout of wintertime crappiness – we were JUST remarking the other day (a bit smugly, I might add) that the handful of days we spent down in balmy Florida over the Christmas holidays seemed to make all the difference in our tolerance of the rest of the winter.  The whole snowbird thing has been making a lot of sense lately.

Crap Weather

But then winter had to come roaring back for a completely unappreciated second act, and it’s definitely not all our fault, but maybe we jinxed ourselves a little?  Can’t ever get too cocky about the weather when you’re a Canadian.  Or a climate change denier.  And good heavens, what if you’re BOTH?!  No amount of pretty nail polish in the world is gonna fix that.  Anyhow, hunker down, friends, this too shall end.

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Unicorn Dreams

Unicorn Schvitz Collage

To paraphrase Ed Helms’ little tiger-centric ditty in The Hangover, what do unicorns dream of, when they take their little unicorn snooze?  Do they dream of impaling idiots in expensive Etsy unicorn headbands, or even bigger idiots at Coachella in some holographic catsuits?

Okay, so I think the whole unicorn thing is a little played out.  I particularly dislike any of the numerous indie bath and beauty products named after any bodily function or fluid of a unicorn.  Seriously, that’s so gross, stop giving your products such off-putting names.

Still, slight diatribe aside, it’s the best descriptor I have for this polish, Liquid Sky Lacquer’s Dream – unicorn-y.  Just look at that rainbow flare!  And the tiny blue flakes and the micro shimmer, and the almost neon-looking holographic effect, too.

I love this polish so much, and I just had to dig it out of “Why don’t I wear this more often?” storage yesterday to take advantage of the dazzlingly bright sun and clear blue skies.  Because this was the weather we were experiencing here about a day and a half ago – total whiteout.  You know, just your standard, bitchingly lame springtime blizzard.  As you do.

And then today’s afternoon forecast is calling for more of the snowy same, only hopefully this time ever so slightly less fierce and roof-rippingly intense.  So good thing I got all these rainbow unicorn sparkles in while I could. 🙂

Unicorn Schvitz Bottle 2

Robin’s Egg Blues

Robin's Egg Collage

And why are those robin’s eggs – or this nail polish, which reminds me of actual speckled robin’s eggs – feeling bluer than usual?  Because it’s April 4th and it’s bloody snowing AGAIN!  Seriously, Mother Nature has until my birthday next week to cut this crap out before I start getting ragey (snowfall after my mid-April birthday always makes me apocalyptically furious; I almost take it as a personal affront.)

Anyhow, I hope any robins who have already returned to my city have dug their toques and mitts back out of storage and re-winterized their nests, because it’s also a chilly one out there.  So lame.

Less lame is this beautiful lacquer, Enchanted Polish’s March 2017 mystery release.  I think robin’s eggs are some of the most beautiful things on earth – the matte texture, the pastel hue, the tiny brown speckles.  What wonderously lovely little treasures, and darn useful in creating other tiny robins as well. 😉 I suppose the one thing this polish has up on actual robin’s eggs is that nifty purple micro-shimmer that adds so much depth and dimension to your manicures.  A gorgeous one to wear simply on its own, no add-ons or adornments needed.

Robin's Egg Bottle 2

Clover/Under

CloverUnder Fingers

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!  To those celebrating this afternoon, tonight and early tomorrow morning, I hope you have a wonderful time, but please remember to do so responsibly.  Hail a cab, call a ride-sharing service, buddy up and walk your drunk butts home (the exercise and fresh air would do you some good!) – anything but behind the wheel of a car, okay?  This has been my yearly St. Patrick’s Day PSA; thank you for listening.

Really, though, a weekend St. Patrick’s Day in my any-excuse-to-tie-one-on hometown is cause for alarm.  I actually don’t plan on even leaving the house today – I’ll just binge drink at home like a proper Irish Canadian woman (joke, joke!)

No matter my plans, however, my nails will be looking festive and fly in this old school KB Shimmer polish, Get Clover It.  I’ve had this polish forever, and it’s a favourite – I love its clear, dark green jelly base, lit from within with micro-glitter like the world’s most beautiful pickle, and its lush mix of metallic circle glitter.  Heh, pickle.  Anyways, stay safe, party peeps.

CloverUnder Bottle

Grey Skies Are Gonna Clear Up

Grey Skies Fingers

Yup, it looks like the sun is rallying to make an appearance today, for the first time in about a week.  I mean, it’s still minus 8, but hey, we just might see a sunshiny day!  Yay, Vitamin D.

I dig this polish, KB Shimmer’s Make My Gray, out of storage every year around this time.  There’s just something optimistic about the bright turquoise and flamingo pink glitters bursting through the pale grey base and gunmetal-hued accents.  But oof, she’s a temperamental one in terms of consistency.  I think if I’m really looking for a reason why I only use this polish once a year, it’s probably because using it is a lot like trying to paint your nails with lumpy pudding.  Mmm, lumpy pudding!  It’s a pretty jerk, that’s for sure.  All the same, it’s nice to see it show its face at least once a year – hey, just like the sun!

Grey Skies Bottle

Snow Much Fun?

Snow Much Fun 1

Eh, I’m not sure how much fun a snowstorm is at this time of year.  Even us loony (Loonie?) Canadians are tired of the wet, tired of the ice, tired of the slush (and where I live, it frequently snows straight through to about the middle of April.)  Ugh, why do I live here again?  Oh right, because Canada is awesome. 🙂

And so is this nail polish, KB Shimmer’s optimistically titled Snow Much Fun!  I typically drag this lacquer out around this time of year, if only to remind myself that snow really is beautiful, and ONE DAY it will eventually stop.  Right?!  Oh my word, PLEASE let it stop!

Snow Much Fun 2

Fairyland

Fairyland Collage

Well, here’s another polish pick from the wayback machine, Candy Lacquer’s pastel rainbow unicorn glitter, Fairyland.  Along with Licorice Allsorts, the chunky matte glitter I featured in a pretty manicure the other day, Fairyland is the first indie polish I ever purchased.  Fairyland, a wild mix of every kind of holographic glitter you could imagine (hexes, circles, tiny squares, gigantic squares, moons, stars, diamonds and hearts) is holding up ever so slightly less well than Licorice Allsorts.  Some of the colour in the glitter has begun leeching into the base, lending Fairyland a pale green kind of tinge.  This is quite common with holographic glitters – after four or so years, they begin to lose their colourfastness.  This is a little unfortunate in that it limits its use somewhat to blue and green-hued polishes, but I actually think it looks best over blues, greens and blue-greens anyways, so that’s alright with me.  It’s just such a gorgeous polish, and I was simply in the mood for flashy unicorn disco nails.  Must be a day ending in Y.

Fairyland Fingers