A breathtakingly stupid story from my youth forms the basis for these scrumptious-looking nails that pay homage to the mighty manicured muffin!
So it was round about the end of high school when a friend fell in temporary infatuation with a cute boy from another school we used to pal around with (I defy you to call it anything other than temporary when the boy in question wears an upside down bookkeeper’s visor unironically.) There was a big party coming up, and it was pretty well expected that it would be during this soiree that they would declare their feelings for one another in all manner of debauched Hughesian awkwardness.
But because teenagers are generally giant tools, the very first thing they did upon arriving at the party was to furiously ignore one another, my friend seeking solace in some girl talk, with Upside Down Visor doing likewise. With another girl. And a whole lot of public groping. Real party killer, that. Also the end of any flirtation between my friend and Teenage Dirtbag.
Anyhow, some time later my friend and Upside Down Visor once again found themselves at the same party, and she asked him what had happened that night – it hadn’t been her imagination, right, there was maybe something there between them? Why the stupid freeze-out?
Oh no, he confirmed, there was definitely something there; he actually liked her a lot. But here was the deal – and then he launched into THE dumbest explanation of the romantic-existential dilemma I have EVER heard. Seriously, this happened nearly 20 years ago and I still admire the balls-out stupidity of this guy. Allow me to throw it to straight dialogue:
Upside Down Visor (UDV): Okay, so it’s like this. What’s your favourite food?
My Friend (Friend): Muffins.
UDV: What kind do you like best?
Friend: Chocolate chip.
UDV: And after chocolate chip?
UDV: Okay, so let’s say you go to the bakery and there’s two kinds of muffins there, chocolate chip and blueberry. You want the chocolate chip muffin the most, but it’s been, like, sitting out for days and it’s gone all crusty and stale and it has this weird mold starting to grow on top. But then beside it there’s the blueberry muffin, and it’s all warm from the oven and tender and buttery and ready to be eaten………like, seriously, which would you pick?!
Friend: You’re an idiot.
And so here we have chocolate chip and blueberry muffin nail art. I like both interpretations equally, but in the immortal words of UDV, like, seriously, which would you pick?! Such decisions. 😉