Arizona Shrimp Horny

Arizona Shrimp Horny 1

That’s a line from one of my favourite TV shows, The Good Place, about Kristen Bell’s character, self-described Arizona trashbag Eleanor Shellstrop, a woman who REALLY loves her shrimp.  And maybe even in the biblical sense, according to dimwitted friend Jason Mendoza, an act I would really not put beyond her – Eleanor’s a delightful pervert who’s constantly, improbably horny for everyone and everything, and I’m sure that includes her beloved shrampies.

But all this talk of shrimp, in service of this manicure I did after getting the “Arizona shrimp horny” line stuck in my head for days, made me realize that there are a lot of references to shrimp in my favourite movies and TV shows, and they all make me laugh uproariously.  Brooklyn 99’s Jake is dismayed when he discovers that cruise ship latrines empty into the ocean – “But that’s where my shrimp live!”  Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Anya loves to talk up the all-shrimp (or no-shrimp) worlds that populate other dimensions.  The Birdcage’s Agador (Agador Spartacus?) protests when another character whisks away the seafood chowder he’s prepared, calling after them in a singsongy Puerto Rican accent, “But you forgot da tshrimps!”  Raising Hope’s Jimmy horrifies his family after returning home from his grocery store job reeking of disemboweled decapods (“Oh my god, what is that smell?!”  “The poop of 50,000 shrimps.”)  And let’s not forget about The Muppets’ Pepe the Prawn, who always seems to be on the unfortunate end of one of Miss Piggy’s schemes to make Kermit jealous (I laugh for days at the bit in the movie with Jason Segal and Amy Adams where Kermit walks in on Piggy and Pepe, in costume, practicing the lift from the end of Dirty Dancing.  He’s in a tiny little leather jacket, and desperately trying to fend off Piggy’s without-warning attempts at launching herself up and over him while “I’ve Had the Time of My Life” warbles in the background.  Mr. Finger Candy and I practically giggled ourselves into fits contemplating this wee shrimp version of Johnny Castle (we’ve dubbed him Prawny Castle, because how could we not?)

Turns out there’s a lot of references to shrimp in my favourite pop culture, and now here the little buggers are adorning my nails.  Think I might have as big a problem as Eleanor? 😉

Arizona Shrimp Horny 2

Oh, Kermie! (31DC2014)

Oh, Kermie!The Disneyfication of the 31 Day Nail Art Challenge continues with this Kermit-inspired mani that proves that sometimes it really is that easy being day four’s theme of green.

I have lots of fond, Muppets-related memories of hunkering down with my parents for a half hour of boomerang fish, crotchety old men and – my favourite – Pigs in Space, but when I hear the name Kermit I actually think of this green pea, mint and leek dip I once served as part of a Mother’s Day tea. It sounds like it would both taste and look quite disgusting, but I assure you that when sprinkled with a smattering of pine nuts and shaved parmesan and served atop a toasted crostini, it’s quite delicious and unexpectedly elegant. Although that still didn’t stop MY mother from loudly exclaiming that it looked like “pureed Kermit on toast!”

Pigs! In! Space!!!

Pigs! In! Space!!!

Old school Muppets fans will remember the ultra soapy Pigs in Space skits from the ’80s in which Miss Piggy, a fabulously well attired astronaut, explores the furthest reaches of our galaxy with a crew of handsome but hopelessly stupid, Shatner-esque space pigs. There were lots of romantic entanglements and a loopy narrator who was fond of shouting “Pigs! In! Spaaaaacccccce!!!” in a booming, echoing voice.

These are not quite Pigs in Space, but they are indeed piggies in space. I call that guy on my ring finger Captain Ham.