Fangirl

Yungblud 1

Well, would you look at that – actual nail art on this nail art blog!  And all it took to drag me out of my self-inflicted hiatus (in the sense that I was the one that accidentally ripped off all of my nails whilst crowbar-ing approximately 800 square feet of hardwood flooring out of our apartment) was my weird old lady musical crush on that Yungblud kid I haven’t been able to shut up about recently.  Dude’s got a very particular kind of English rocker yob style (your usual black and studded, but also lots of gold chains, pink socks and gigantic, improbably vertical AND horizontal hair) and I love it.  So here it is on my nails.  Feels good to be back. 🙂

Yungblud 2

Loner

Loner Girl

Bored, fidgety, harbouring a gigantic crush on a sketchy English moppet and in possession of coloured greasepaint pencils – what could possibly go wrong here?

I’m seriously so obsessed with this Yungblud kid.  He’s got a twenty one pilots-by-way-of-Stone Roses kind of vibe going, with a pit stop at the three-way junction where My Chemical Romance, Oasis and a Hot Topic warehouse intersect.  He’s a bizarre little munchkin with too much hair, and I’m delighted to now be aware of both his existence and music – with Keith Flint of The Prodigy now off bouncing around the afterlife, I was in need of an inexplicable crush on a transient-looking Englishman in too much guyliner, and Yungblud is providing in SPADES.

025

And when I’m obsessed, well, I kind of start to dress like them.  Already working out our Halloween costumes for this year’s Mickey’s Not So Scary.  Can’t wait to see Mr. Finger Candy in pink socks, creepers, chipped black nails and nine pounds of charcoal-coloured eyeshadow.  Um, actually, wait – YES, now that I think about it, I’d kind of like to see that hot ass look right NOW… 😉  I love rock star cosplaying at Disney – in a sea of Little Mermaids, it’s fun to be an Ursula.  If Ursula was into sketchy English yobs with insanity hair and a major set of crazy eyes.  Which she might be.  I mean, I don’t know her life.

But for right now, I’ll content myself with this test run on a Loner-esque look, complete with face paint and my best approximation of Yungblud’s batshit, gravity-defying coif (it’s like Robert Smith got his hair did by Edward Scissorhands.)  We’ll revisit this at Halloween – d’you know what I mean, yeah?

So Much Hairspray 2

Naked and Afraid: Reno Anecdote of the Day

No photos to accompany this little tale, but you’ll thank me for that shortly.  So, as I’ve mentioned a time or 80, we are undertaking some fairly major renovations in our condo apartment – new bathroom, new flooring throughout, so absolutely everything is torn up right now and we have no access to proper plumbing.  We do, however, live in a building with an indoor pool and attached change rooms, so we’re able to nip on down there when the nature need strikes.  We’re really, really fortunate in that regard – bathroom renovations are such a bitch, man.

But it’s somewhat difficult to plan a biological function that generally does not wish to be planned, which means Mr. Finger Candy and I have been running down to the change rooms at all hours of the day, including last night at a quarter to midnight when I walked in on two of my neighbours having sex in the change room sauna.  Had the two trashy perverts just stayed IN the sauna, I never would have seen them.  There’s a tiny little window notched in the wooden sauna door, and by principle, I never, ever look through that window, because I know what I’m most likely going to see – one of my very elderly neighbours sprawled out on a towel, schvitzing in the altogether.

But these two panicked when they heard me coming through the outer doors and tried to bolt for the pool doors, unsuccessfully.  That’s when I come around the corner and find the male half of the couple, equipment not remotely covered by his hands, frantically jigging across the change room while his lady screams, “THAT’S JUST MY HUSBAND!!!” at me.  Just?  Yes, sweetheart, I can now confirm that that is indeed “just” your husband and “just” his rapidly departing winky all up in my legitimate bathroom business at a quarter to freaking midnight on a weeknight (weeknight, weekend, it doesn’t really matter, but I guess whenever and wherever the urge strikes, huh?)  Although as I queried a friend this morning, who decides that the very best time and place to get yer freak on is a ladies room sauna in a condominium run by a bunch of uppity 80-year-olds at a quarter to midnight on a Thursday night?  Have some standards, people!  And please to be removing your nut sack from atop that wooden bench, thanks. 😦

Reno life, friends – I don’t recommend it!  Now I’m going to return to the mind-numbing task of just sitting here “supervising” the contractors, which is actually me joshing with the plumbers in between developing an intense, dirty old lady-ish crush on this 20-year-old British scuzzbag named Yungblud who looks like walking syphilis (this video for a song called 11 Minutes, featuring Halsey and Travis Barker, is INCREDIBLE; I miss the golden age of videos, and this one delivers.)  He’s got that real ugly/handsome, Adam Driver-esque thing going on, and I’m obsessed with staring at his interestingly imperfect face.  He’s also not a bad musician.  Seriously, 22 years my junior or no, I just want to haul him down to the change room, toss his sketch ass in the shower for a good de-lousing and then bang in the sauna.

Sorry for the TMI (did you really need to know that I want to jump some jailbait who looks like a chihuahua with its face smashed in?) but I also may be round-the-clock high on off-gassing flooring materials.  So you might be getting Extra Truthful Blogging Action Figure Sandra today.  Hmm, best scamper on out of here before I start pontificating on politics or something else that will get me in trouble.  Happy weekend, friends – may your change rooms be free of naked neighbours and your YouTube playlists filled with sketchy British musicians. 🙂