All About Me

Collage of Me Main

Riveting, to be sure!  But actually, yes, I just spent quite a bit of time updating my About page so it reads less like a bulleted ransom note and more like an invitation to explore this blog’s offerings and the blogger behind the babble. 🙂 Metaphorical exploration, that is!  Trust me, this is definitely NOT me setting out my cybersex shingle.  Hmm, I think this paragraph might have gotten away from me a bit. 😦

Anyhow, if you’re at all interested in getting to know the mind behind the manis, I offer myself up.  Ack, but not like that!  Not like offer-offer, just that — actually, you know what?  I think this is just going to be one of those days when everything that comes out of my mouth is loaded sexual innuendo designed to get a rise out of someone, so I’m just going to choke this off right now and — dammit.

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Dumbass. Also Ooh, Pretty Ring!

Beaded Ring 2

I’m quite glad I did this manicure, inspired by an old beaded ring I recently dug out of jewelry box purgatory, earlier in the week, before I suffered one of those dumbass injuries that smarts like the dickens, leads to the temporary uselessness of at least a couple of limbs and leaves you rightfully questioning the life decisions that led up to this moment.  Like the decision to try to brute force my refrigerator out of its nook without realizing that it was quite firmly caught on something.  Or the decision, once I noted that it was quite firmly caught on something, to try to HULK it up and over the obstruction, like I was The Rock’s friggin’ weenie Canadian cousin or something.  I think you can see where this is going.

Which would be straight on through to Dumbass Injury Land, where I’m now sitting in quite uncomfortable forearm agony.  Yes, my FOREARMS.  Two days on and I still can’t register any sensation in my hands, wrists or forearms other than pain.  I can’t form a tight fist without sort of feeling like I’m about to pass out.  Typing this has proven to be a rather exquisite form of torture!

Anyhow, super glad I got this one done before I succumbed to my own idiocy.  Seriously kids, don’t try to dead lift your large appliances; it will not end well.

Right, so this manicure was inspired by this ring I bought, oh, 20 or so years ago from a designer who worked and sold out of the Byward Market Building in Ottawa, Ontario.  I add that detail because I cannot remember her name and I don’t believe she’s even working out of Ottawa any more; her booth in the Market Building disappeared many years ago (but if anyone knows of her name, please hit me up!)  I’ve actually got quite a few of her pieces, and they’re all weird, colourful and maybe just a little bit too much.  Wait till you see the beaded choker I’ll hopefully be able to show to you in a few days’ time once any sensation other than pain has returned to my forearms.  Until then, as always, nail art!

Beaded Ring 1

 

Chillin’ Like a Villain: My, What a Guy!

Gaston Ears Collage 1

Psst!  Hey, you guys wanna hear something?  Supposedly, every last inch of this Gaston dude is covered with hair.  I know, right?!  Ever heard of manscaping, bro?  What am I saying?  Of course he hasn’t heard of manscaping!  Gaston is totally that guy who runs around with his furry man-cleave hanging out of his tunic, crispy shedded chest hairs building up in tiny drifts around his bootaloons.  To do anything more would be to show respect and consideration for others, and that totally ain’t Gaston’s bag.

I am, of course, intimately familiar with Gaston’s particular brand of whiffing it, on account of the fact that over four visits to his tavern in the last year alone (his tavern being in freaking Orlando, by the way) he has yet to show his chiseled jaw even once.  A kind friend suggested that he may be intimidated – after all, the last brainy beauty who bested his beastliness badly bruised his bravado, did she not?  Harumph, I thought he was made of tougher stuff than that.  Wussy.  But you didn’t hear it from me. 😉

I’m hoping, though, that when I wear these Gaston ears I nabbed from Etsy vendor Mouseket Ears Bowtique, he’ll show himself, if only to marvel at my amazing taste in hair accessories.  I’m so in love with the chest hair ear, it is stupendous!  And I very much appreciate the glittery stag rack mounted in the centre of the bow.  You know Gaston would love it, on account of the whole antlers in all of his DE-CO-RA-TING business.

Gaston Ears Collage 2

And as always, a bit of nail art.  Because if I’m rocking chest hair on my ears, I may as well sport it on my nails, too (better my nails than my knuckles, which I’m also assuming is Gaston’s thing.)

Gaston Ears 1

Purple Haze

Hazy Holo 1

Never actually been into Hendrix (so random, very tiresome) but I am into these nails, which technique-wise, are way outside my usual.  In that there is an identifiable technique at work here – two of them, actually, sponging and striping tape – instead of my usual free-handed approach.  I like the precision, even if I think there needs to be more of those cool holo-striped beams.  And perhaps a change in colour, something a bit more vibrant that won’t merge quite so seamlessly with the silver base polish I used here, ILNP’s ultra holographic Mega.)  Maybe pink?  You know, like the long lost Jimi Hendrix song, Pink Haze. 😉

Rainbow Pops

Oh Lolli 1

Just a lick of bright colour for your S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y nights!  This sweet manicure features a couple of cute lollipop nail charms from Daily Charme, and one of my favourite nail polishes, Painted Polish’s dainty Chasing Rainbows.  It’s a great look, perfect for warm summer evenings.  I’m running out the door right now to enjoy my own warm summer evening; wonderful night to you,  friends!

Oh Lolli 2

Hello Bows

Kitty Collage

Hello Kitty nails!  And the third design I’ve attempted from this cute instructional book, Hello Kitty Nail Art by Masato Kojima.  I think this manicure turned out rather well, don’t you?

Hello Kitty 4

I actually really like following these sorts of tutorials from time to time.  I have a tendency to fall into ruts of style sameiness where I’ll lean on one colour palette or a single design type time and time again.  Guides and tutorials (particularly this one; it’s a very nicely laid out book) always present some neat options I hadn’t considered, like adding sparkle to just one nail, or the cute negative space cutouts at the base of my cuticles.  A very pretty Kitty, indeed!

Hello Kitty 9

Literary Inspiration: I’ll Have What She’s Having

I'll Have Collage

Cute manicure inspiration aside, I don’t have a lot to say about this book, I’ll Have What She’s Having: Adventures in Celebrity Dieting by Rebecca Harrington.  I chose this book to satisfy the to-be-read requirement in my friends’ reading challenge, predominantly because it’s been sitting on my bookshelf for the past two years, longing for precisely that, but also because I was in desperate need of a light, literary palate cleanser after The Handmaid’s Tale.

Following the sort of “I’ll do crazy crap for a year and then write about it” literary craze that started with Julie Powell’s Julie & Julia, I’ll Have What She’s Having tosses writer Rebecca Harrington into the deep end of the celebrity dieting world as she attempts to emulate the weirdly restrictive eating habits of, among others, Madonna (macrobiotics), Karl Lagerfeld (Diet Coke), Marilyn Monroe (raw eggs in milk!) and Greta Garbo (pure, ear-splitting dietary insanity, with a heavy emphasis on a make-ahead (and apparently never-eat) celery loaf.)

I'll Have 1

That all seems like fertile ground on which to mine a lot of excellent observational comedy, if I may mix my metaphors.  Yet I’ll Have What She’s Having was stubbornly flat, more a recitation of the unpleasant facets of these diets (the social isolation, the prohibitive costs, the biological disruptions) than any sort of insight, humourous or otherwise, into those same issues.  I was looking for something light, but this was just slight.  Clocking in at 161 pages of very large text and an inexplicable number of double-spaced paragraph breaks, it felt like a feature length magazine article that was needlessly stretched into a full length book.

The inside cover art did provide some pretty great nail art inspiration, however.  Can’t ever go wrong with bold graphics of food against a star-printed background.  That’s, like, right where I live!

I'll Have 3